Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

Category Archives: Food


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Spears of green

Asparagus Season

I figured I should talk about something less shocking today with all the butt crack business yesterday, so I decided to chat about Asparagus.

Asparagus is not my favorite vegetable but and after looking into it I found that there are some pretty interesting things about asparagus that I bet you don’t know.

The basics — Asparagus is in season from mid April through June and is mostly grown in Michigan, California and Washington State. It is one of the most nutritionally well-balanced vegetables in existence and leads nearly all other produce in a wide array of nutrients. Asparagus contains only 20 calories per 5.3 oz serving and 3 grams of fiber. It’s very low in sodium and an excellent source of potassium, vitamin B6 and folacin (folic acid).

Did you know — Asparagus is a member of the Lily family? So are onions, leeks and garlic.

Strange but true — An asparagus spear can grow as much as one inch (or more) in an hour, and can grow 10″ in a 24-hour period, when weather conditions are just right. Not that’s crazy!

White asparagus — Is achieved by growing the stalks under mounds of earth so the sun does not strike them to produce chlorophyll. White asparagus is considered to be slightly milder in flavor and a bit more tender than green asparagus.

Why does your pee smell funny after you consume asparagus? — From my research, nobody seems to be able to agree on this.  All you need to know is that if your pee smells after eating asparagus (and not everyone can smell it) you are not alone and it’s natural so don’t fret.

How to store it — To maintain freshness, trim the ends and wrap a moist paper towel around the stem ends, or stand upright in two inches of cold water and cover with plastic. Refrigerate and use within 2 or 3 days.

How to pick the best asparagus — 
Look for firm, fresh, spears with closed, compact tips. Larger diameter spears are more tender according to my research but I always found the skinny spears to be better. You can decide for yourself.

Cooking asparagus — Trim stem ends slightly and cook fresh asparagus for about 5 minutes in boiling water for a crisp and tender result. Or, trim ‘em toss ‘em in olive oil and roast in the oven for a few minutes till tender. That’s Kelley Style.

Bacon-Wrapped Asparagus — (Now this sounds hella good!)

1-pound fresh asparagus
8 to 10 strips bacon

Wash and trim asparagus spears. Cut bacon strips in half crosswise. Wrap one-half strip bacon around each asparagus spear, leaving tip and end exposed. Lay on a cookie sheet with sides. Bake in a preheated 400-degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until bacon is cooked. Serve warm or at room temperature.

There you have it, the low-down on asparagus. Enjoy…


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A public service message from The Sample Lady

I got an email from my Mom today. It’s a bit of a rant as she’d had a hard day at the market. If you read my St Patrick’s Day post you know that my Mom is The Sample Lady at a “health food” store and has a bit of a gritty attitude when it comes to her job and the people she deals with on a daily basis.

Below you will find my mother’s email to me. I’m sharing the meat of the document word for word, I feel the contents are too good for only me to enjoy. Lessons for us all are contained herein.

Store Sampling (a loose definition)

Providing customers an opportunity to try a product before they purchase it and/or introducing a new product to customers.  And, when all else fails — how to get rid of crap you can’t sell before it goes “out of date.” Take note!

What Sampling is not

  • Lunch
  • Afternoon snack for little kids
  • Free food for teenagers
  • Supplemental meals for mooching employees
  • Free treats for a family outing

My Daily “Gross-Outs”

  • A woman reaching into the paper sleeves of freshly baked bread and squeezing each loaf — with her bare hand — to test for freshness.
  • A normal appearing man opening the door, reaching into the empty popcorn machine — and again with his bare hand — scraping up any and all popcorn residue left behind.
  • A regular “Old Fart” sampling olives with his bare hands from the olive bar.
  • A little kid washing his hands in the drink-sampling dispenser.
  • A woman sharing her sandwich — bite for bite — with her dog.
  • Kids digging into the bulk barrels with both hands — also eating from the bulk bins.
  • Little kids fondling rolls from bakery bins.
  • Woman spitting sample back in cup and handing it back to me.

Other things that piss me off

  • Stupid customers asking if sampling spoons are “clean” — no really, we collect up the dirty ones and re-use them — duh.
  • People eating lunch as they shop and not paying
  • Customers leaving dirty sampling cups, toothpicks ad napkins on sampling tray, they belong in the trash!
  • People taking samples without even making eye contact while on their cell phones.
  • People “loading up” on samples — as many as they can carry in both hands

Love Mama

After reading this I’d like to lock myself in the house and never go near a grocery store again. I guess the lesson here is mind your manners and remember that not everyone out there has much sense. Get your food from places that have the least amount of potential fondlers. Farmers markets are good as there are fewer people involved. Or, grow/bake/cook your own food. Do ya feel me?

Stay tuned — next week we’ll be looking at our butt cracks. Is yours crooked? If so what does that mean?

Enjoy the weekend. See you Monday, and happy April Fools Day!


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Do whatever pleases you today

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Admit it: drinking green stuff is fun, no matter how old you are. Lets raise a glass today and make a toast to family, good health and good friends.

My Mom is The Sample Lady at a hoity-toity grocery store in Southern California. It’s the absolute perfect job for her, although she doesn’t see it that way.

I’ve never actually seen Mom workin’ her samples, but I have a pretty clear picture of what it must be like to come upon her at her table of petite bites of food. You see, Mom’s not by any definition what you’d call a “people person.” According to Mom, the people who come to her table are all “a bunch of fat pigs.” Most of them, either wealthy housewives or “spoiled brats” from the high school across the street. Apparently more than once Mom has told a greedy customer “you’ve had enough, go away.” While I think it’s pretty funny, I find it especially karmic, it wasn’t long ago when Mom’s favorite Saturday activity to go to Costco for “lunch.” Mom would push her cart right up to the edge of sample table so that nobody could get between her and the food samples. She would sample everything; if she liked it she would sample it again just to be sure. Mom would strategically move from table to table, sometimes picking up her pace if it looked like someone might get there before her. Even then she complained about all the “ fat pigs.” I find it especially amusing that she doesn’t see the irony in this. And they say there’s no such thing as Karma!

I digressed — what I wanted to say is that today Mom is making Colcannon for those brave souls that dare approach her sample table. Colcannon is a traditional Irish dish of mashed potatoes, milk, butter, cabbage and onion. Mom said “I don’t think it’s on your diet Kelley, but it’s yummy.” With that, here’s a recipe for Colcannon, it sounds gross to me but you may like it. I’m gonna celebrate today with a couple of glasses of Irish Whiskey and some green cookies. I know, probably not on “my diet” but WTF it’s a holiday! My advice, do whatever pleases you today!

I leave you with a St. Patrick’s Day Blessing

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

Cheers!

P.s. I love you Mom!


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How many colors is it?

Good eats!

I love Rainbow Chard! Okay so it’s not pizza, but you can put it on pizza if you we’re so inclined. I’ve done it. No sauce just sauté the chard in olive oil, add lots of garlic and lay tons of chard on a Gruyere covered pizza crust with a few pine nuts on top. Yum-a-saris!

I’m talking about Rainbow Chard today because it occurred to me that since it’s “rainbow” it might cover more than just the “green” vegetable color category. You know how I’m always telling you to eat 5 colors a day? Well, I wondered if Rainbow Chard got to claim more than one color. While I couldn’t find any hard, written evidence that “Yes, Rainbow Chard is allowed to claim a rainbow of colors” I’m guessing it can.

Here’s why — Because each color category represents different nutrients and antioxidants. That’s how each piece of fruit or vegetable gets its color. So, it would make sense that the yellow-stemmed pieces would be high in carotenoids and flavonoids (good sources of vitamin A), and the red & pink pieces would contain more Lycopene, like in tomatoes. While all pieces get to claim green which contains lutein, a substance that can maintain healthy vision. The different colored pieces can’t be the color they are, sans the above chemicals, or phytonutrients. Hence my conclusion that Rainbow Chard counts for 3 colors. Green, yellow/orange and red/pink.

Either way it’s yummy, Rainbow Chard’s pink, orange, yellow, and red stalks are sweeter than light or white varieties. Pick a bunch with deep green, crisp leaves and you have just chalked 3 colors off your list for the day (in my world anyway).

Here’s how I like to prepare my Rainbow Chard

  • 2 bunches Rainbow Chard
  • Lots of olive oil (I probably used 1/4 cup)
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • Lemon zest (I used about 1/2 lemon)
  • Sea salt & freshly ground pepper

Sauté chopped chard in olive oil and garlic till tender. Garnish with lemon zest, S&P. Serve as a side dish as is, or my fav — toss into pasta or gnocchi with a little pecorino cheese on top.

Like I said, yum-a-saris!

P.s. Chard is in season through April so now’s the time!


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Random bits

Happy Friday!  I know some of you are pretty happy the week is over. I hope the weekend serves you well and you find yourself rested and recovered in time for Monday (or, is that a stupid thing to say?).

Today I’m sharing some tips from my friends.

  • Drink your water – Marathon Louie thought he was “all that” by doing a nice tempo training run and then attempting what he assumed would be an easy spin class. Unfortunately with all the training ML lost track of his hydration level. With that, the double workout proved too much for the lean, fit gent. Post “spin” Louis spun himself right onto the floor and awoke to find himself sprawled out and surrounded by some very nice EMT’s. His advise. Drink up!
  • Wash your stuff – Skinny Scott wanted me to remind everyone to wash their fruits and veggies. Even the ones that you plan to peel. It’s not just about obvious dirt, it’s about all the nasty stuff that gets on there from all the different folks handling it.  Mr. Skinny found himself with a case of “The HoneyMustards” after eating a mango that he peeled but must have picked up some fungi from the cutting board. Best way to wash your stuff is to run lots of water over it. Just to be safe, Skinny suggests washing the pre-washed lettuces that comes in a bag. Need I say more?
  • Sleepy? – Nancy The Guit wondered why she was tired all the time.  She was sleeping well at night, eating right, getting plenty of vitamins and her hormones were in check but she still felt sleepy all day.  What’s up with that, she thought so she asked her Doc and found that she was taking twice the recommend dosage of melatonin.  She’s now cut back and behold, she’s not tired anymore. Watch your dosage, take the recommended 3 mg at most and when you wake in the morning turn on a bright light to trigger your body to stop making it’s own melatonin. More is not better!
  • GP-2011 says “lube your business” – Body Glide is for beginners, too. There’s nothing like getting ass-burn, or chafed cheeks from a vigorous workout. Anywhere you sweat and have a little friction is prime real estate for chafing—arm pits, thighs, butt cheeks. GP recommends body glide, Vaseline, A&D ointment—she’s even used her kids’ diaper creams—use whatever you’ve got, but the body glide is greaseless, easy to roll on, and doesn’t smell like baby powder. Better lube your business, or you might feel the burn—and not just in your muscles.

Learn from their mistakes, I’ll see you on Monday. Next week I’ll come clean and let you have a look at my abs.  We’ll see if all those crunches from my ab challenge did me any good. Stay tuned…


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The Rules

Even-Steven

I went shopping this weekend and bought two things.  I bought a book by Michael Pollan called Food Rules. Maybe you’ve heard of it.  My friend Pauline told me about it, it’s all the rage and a #1 NY Times Bestseller.  According to the cover it’s “an eater’s manual.” Basically it’s an easy to use book of rules that takes the complexity out of eating. For instance rule #37 is “The whiter the bread the sooner you’ll be dead” (referring to the fact that you should be eating whole grains). The final rule is rule #64, which reads “Break the rules once in a while.” I like that one; in fact, the second purchase I made this weekend was a box of Girl Scout Cookies. By the way, rule #19 is “If it came from a plant, eat it; if it was made in a plant, don’t.” Looks like I’m even-steven.

As for the Girl Scout Cookies, I won’t make excuses. Excuses make you appear weak and nobody wants to hear them anyway.  I bought the cookies and I ate them, they were good. I did it because I told myself that I wanted to support the GS’s but the truth is, eating them brought me back to the time when I was a GS. One season I ate so many GS cookies that I racked up a bill of over $150 which my Dad had to cover. That’s when I learned not to make excuses. How do you explain why you ate dozens of boxes of cookies? Temporary insanity? Or, “face it Dad, I’m just a pig,” would have gone over better.

Anyway… Back to rule #64, break the rules once in a while. Pollan says, and I agree “Obsessing over food rules is bad for happiness, and probably your health too.” Worrying about nutrition will make you no healthier or slimmer. Relax, throw “the rules” out the window once in a while, what matters is everyday practice. That can be said for everything in life, don’t you think?

Tomorrow we’re talking about setting goals. I don’t understand why so many of you are afraid to commit to even the smallest goal.  Yea, I know it’s frightening but seriously, aren’t you getting a little bored?

Happy Monday!

p.s. Rule #43 – Have a glass of wine with dinner. Drinking a little every day is better than drinking a lot on the weekends…


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Egg me

Best source o’ protein

You already know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day (you do know that right?). Did you also know, current studies show that you should eat 25- 30 grams of protein for breakfast? Protein first thing in the morning not only will jump start your metabolism, it’s more filling and takes longer to digest, so in theory, you’ll eat less as the day goes on.

Here are my suggestions for some mighty fine high protein breakfasts.

Oatmeal – 1 cup only has 6 grams of protein but it’s full of fiber. You’ll need to add some nuts and milk to get closer to your 30 grams.

Brick of dough – if you are not willing to give up that bagel remember the average bagel has about 350 calories and 13 grams of protein. Replace the cream cheese and top with cottage cheese. It’s not that bad! Toss some tomato slices on top for color. (I’m talkin’ to you Mike!)

Greek yogurt – add low fat granola and fresh berries. Try blue berries and raspberries that way you get two of your daily colors taken care of.

Breakfast Burrito – Whole-wheat tortilla, 2 eggs, veggies of choice (remember your colors!), a bit of cheese and salsa. Yum!

Protein FYI’a

  • 1-cup milk 8 grams protein
  • ½ cup low fat cottage cheese is 16 grams
  • 1 cup non fat yogurt 13 grams
  • 1 cup Greek yogurt 20 grams
  • 1 egg 6 grams
  • 1 oz cheddar cheese 7 grams
  • ½ cup tofu 10 grams
  • ½ cup most beans 7.5 grams
  • 6 grams per 1-cup soymilk
  • 14 walnut halves 4 grams for
  • 20 Almonds 6 grams
  • 2 tbsp Peanut Butter 8 grams

Don’t forget to have some fiber with your protein to keep it moving along its path. You know how I feel about that.


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Potty talk

I gotta go!

I have a slight obsession with getting the things that went in, to come out as soon as possible. No, I have never been into any of those nasty disorders that lots of women get into. With that, over the years I have become very knowledgeable and impressed with the magic of both fiber and water.

Now, I know that I talk a lot about fiber and water so today I am talking about pee.

What exactly is Pee? Essentially, pee (aka urine) is mostly water (about 95%), however, the rest of the contents can vary depending on what you’ve eaten, drank, breathed or been exposed to. The remainder usually consists of urea, uric acid, ammonia, hormones, dead blood cells, proteins, salts, minerals, and toxins. It’s the body’s trash!

Did you know that there’s something called Urine Therapy? It’s the use of urine to heal what ails you. There are people that use urine to heal Strep Throat, Diabetes, Pink Eye and the list goes on.  Yes, they drink pee.  In India some enjoy Gua Jal (Cow Water). Frankly this is where my relatively open mind slams shut. If you want more information on Urine Therapy I suggest you get your Google on.

Here are some good things to know about pee.

  • The average person expels about 1-2 liters of urine per day and “goes” 6 times per day.
  • Only 40% of the population has the gene that allows them to smell asparagus in their pee. Apparently if you take the tips off the asparagus then your pee won’t smell. But do you really care? The tips are the best part!
  • Like it or not many common skin care products contain animal urine. Apparently it helps to moisturize and as we learned above it may have healing properties.
  • The color of your urine can help to determine how hydrated you are. Additionally color in your urine can be a sign of much larger problems. For example, red urine means that you are secreting blood and you should see a doctor immediately. Blue or green urine usually means that you ate something containing dyes. The color your urine should be is very light yellow to almost clear. You should be able to read through it.

I hope you’ve learned something. Maybe some day I’ll talk about #2. Maybe not.


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It’s a Gut Bomb!

Mo's Gut Bomb

My friend Mo took one of her best friends to Chile for Valentines Day.  Her bike.  Mo and Mr. Trek seem to be having a great time according to the updates that I receive, although some of the food is causing a bit of a concern. Mo refers to such food as “gut bombs.”

A gut bomb is food that causes a disturbance in the midsection. At the very least a gut bomb causes a stomachache, but also may include diarrhea or heartburn. Popular gut bombs are primarily creamy foods like a rich dessert or greasy foods like chicken wings, hamburgers, french fries, pizza and buffet style Chinese food.

Be kind to your stomach. Gut bombs may be avoided by not eating too much of the offending food, drinking extra water or staying away entirely from the foods that make your belly gurgle in digestive pain.

Healthy Diet 101 (read this even if you think you know everything)

  • Make small changes, one at a time
  • Eat breakfast
  • Eat every two – three hours
  • Eat protein, fruits and veggies at every meal
  • When eating veggies and fruits eat 5 different colors per day (list below)
  • Always eat whole grains
  • Don’t eat when you are not hungry
  • Remember the water and fiber rules that I bring up every week!
  • To get the very best results, 90% of your food intake should consist of whole foods. But start with eat healthy 85% of the time (6 days a week) and allow yourself to indulge 15% of the time (one day a week).
  • Don’t deprive yourself, eat desert. Just be smart.

Limit this stuff

  • Alcohol
  • Fried foods
  • Non-whole grains
  • Fruit juice (full of sugar and no fiber)
  • Fatty meats
  • Sugar
  • Processed foods (anything that’s canned or packaged)

Here are your 5 vegetable & fruit colors. Eat 5 colors each day.

  • White – Onion, garlic, horseradish, kohlrabi. They have antibacterial, anti-viral properties and they strengthen immune system.
  • Blue/Black ­– Eggplant, blueberries, chokeberry, raisins, blackcurrant, bilberry. They strengthen blood vessels, delay aging, improve vision at dusk and they have also anti-inflammatory properties.
  • Red – Apples, tomatoes, cherries, strawberries, watermelons, beets, red cabbage. They have anti-tumor properties. They’re great for your heart as well, because they contain a lot of potassium – what gives counterbalance to salt in your diet.
  • Yellow/Orange – Oranges, bananas, carrots, lemons, peaches, corn. Rich in beta-carotene – which has anti-tumor properties. They regulate water management in the body and prevent your eyesight from getting worse.
  • Green – Spinach, broccoli, lettuce, kiwi. Rich in vitamin C, folic acid, antioxidants – they cleanse your body out of toxins, improve concentration and prevent skin aging. They protect your retina from damages as well.

If you do find yourself in distress after consuming a Gut Bomb than drinking baking soda and water will help settle your stomach. Frankly that would make me puke but “they” say it works. I say, lay down and pray there’s no explosion.


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Have your pizza and eat it too

Kelley's kitchen sink pizza

I love pizza. With that, one of my goals in life is to figure out how to eat as much as I want for the least amount of devastation. The suggestions below are a way to eat more pizza than would normally be acceptable.

Here’s how it works.

  • First, make your own pizza. I think of my pizza as a canvas on which I am able to express my culinary imagination, there are no limits to what might show up on my pie. Everything is good with bread and cheese. However, I always make my pizzas mindful of calorie, fiber and nutritional smarts.
  • Start with good quality whole-wheat pizza dough.  I like Trader Joe’s as I’m too lazy to make my own.
  • Next, I pile many many vegetables on my pizza so I bake it on a cookie sheet. If you use a screen or stone the pizza will fall apart (trust me!) make a mess and you’ll go hungry.
  • Roll out your dough on whole-wheat flour or corn meal and lay it on the cookie sheet. Preheat the oven at 450 degrees. Sprinkle dough with cheese. (I don’t use “sauce” as it just adds calories/sodium and in this case you don’t need it.)
  • What to put on your pizza?  I like to use as many vegetables as possible. In my mind lots of veggies cancel out the cheese that they ‘re laying on top of.  And, the fibrous veggies bind with the cheese (in your stomach) to help move the fat out before it can cling to your arteries (I learned that on Dr. Oz).

Here are some of my favorite pizza toppers (remember lots of veggies!)

  • Chard – lightly sauté with lots of garlic, you’ll need at least 6 cups of sautéed chard. Try Gruyere cheese and a little Mozzarella. Sprinkle with Parmesan when it comes out of the oven.
  • Spinach – With all leafy greens you should lightly sauté them as to lessen their water content. Sauté with a little olive oil and lots of garlic down to 6 cups. Mix in ¼ cup golden raisins and some pine nuts. I like to use Fontina and mozzarella cheese on this version.
  • Left Overs – Last night I used every veggie left in the frig. The photo above is, 1 cup chopped (not sautéed) spinach, 3 cups yellow squash sliced about ¼ inch thick, 3 cups broccoli flowerlets, 9 asparagus spears and one red onion on a bed of pepper jack and mozzarella cheese. Prior to baking, I drizzled the veggies/pie with 2 tbsp’s of olive oil. I sprinkled red pepper flakes and Parmesan on top after baking.

Rules of thumb

  • Use 6-8 cups of veggies and no more than 2 cups of cheese.
  • Use an average of 3 tbsp’s of olive oil per pie to either sauté or drizzle on top of the veggies before baking.
  • Use nuts, seeds, organic meats and even beans when possible to add fiber and/or protein.

Some good things to know

  • If you use tomatoes lightly squeeze the water out of them. Cut in half and gently smush so that the liquid and seeds come out (then you can slice or chop them). Too much water on your pizza makes it mushy.
  • Feta cheese has half the calories as most other cheeses. Use that to your advantage!

According to my calculations, 1 piece of these pizzas (1/8th of the pie) will cost you about 200 calories and give you 4 grams of fiber. Obviously those numbers depend on exactly what you build your pizza with but this is a pretty good, general calculation.

Bake your pie for about 20 minutes according to my experience.  The directions on the dough might say it takes 10 minutes but if you load it up, you’ll need longer. Keep an eye on your masterpiece and bake it till the crust is deep golden brown.

Have at it!