Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

Category Archives: Stories


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If Jerry has time to work out…

Here we are at the end of another week. This week I’ve tried to inspire you to push your limits, take care of your soul and to eat right. Actually, I do that every week in different ways. I hope you’ve taken note and been inspired in some way.

Today I have The Guinea Pig 2011 Report. GP has graduated from window licking strangers to rubbing elbows with The Governor. Here’s the week in GP’s words.

Sad to say, but GP has been on a bender. I’ve rediscovered the joys of chocolate and wine. Blame it on Valentine’s bounty or pure greed, I don’t know, but I’ve been strapping on my feed bag and the corkscrew has been permanently attached to my hand the last couple of days. I spent the morning robbing the kids’ Valentine’s candy – the shame!!

However, I’m still being good about doing my crunches (I hope to one day replace the jiggle with some definition) and working up a sweat at the gym. Even dragged the GP family for a long, sweaty hike in the canyon. I even pulled a code yellow, though I was careful to hide behind a redwood tree.

To recommit myself to the road of health, I replaced the battery in my heart rate monitor today so I can be sure I’m cranking up the old ticker properly.

As for my close encounter of the gubernatorial kind, I am still tickled by seeing our gov working out. Maybe he was balancing the state budget in his head while he was balancing on the bosu ball, or finding ways to trim the fat in Sacramento while keeping trim around his middle, I will never know because I was too star-struck to say anything to him (despite being close enough to confirm that those eyebrows are real). If the gov has time to work out, then I have no excuse.

There you have it. GP is trucking along just like the rest of us, doing her personal best every day and not worrying about how many workouts she misses or stolen chocolate she eats. GP is creating her own unique success story!

Have a great 3 day weekend. I’ll be back here on Tuesday, until then follow me on Twitter. It’s kind o’ fun!

Play nice…


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It’s a Gut Bomb!

Mo's Gut Bomb

My friend Mo took one of her best friends to Chile for Valentines Day.  Her bike.  Mo and Mr. Trek seem to be having a great time according to the updates that I receive, although some of the food is causing a bit of a concern. Mo refers to such food as “gut bombs.”

A gut bomb is food that causes a disturbance in the midsection. At the very least a gut bomb causes a stomachache, but also may include diarrhea or heartburn. Popular gut bombs are primarily creamy foods like a rich dessert or greasy foods like chicken wings, hamburgers, french fries, pizza and buffet style Chinese food.

Be kind to your stomach. Gut bombs may be avoided by not eating too much of the offending food, drinking extra water or staying away entirely from the foods that make your belly gurgle in digestive pain.

Healthy Diet 101 (read this even if you think you know everything)

  • Make small changes, one at a time
  • Eat breakfast
  • Eat every two – three hours
  • Eat protein, fruits and veggies at every meal
  • When eating veggies and fruits eat 5 different colors per day (list below)
  • Always eat whole grains
  • Don’t eat when you are not hungry
  • Remember the water and fiber rules that I bring up every week!
  • To get the very best results, 90% of your food intake should consist of whole foods. But start with eat healthy 85% of the time (6 days a week) and allow yourself to indulge 15% of the time (one day a week).
  • Don’t deprive yourself, eat desert. Just be smart.

Limit this stuff

  • Alcohol
  • Fried foods
  • Non-whole grains
  • Fruit juice (full of sugar and no fiber)
  • Fatty meats
  • Sugar
  • Processed foods (anything that’s canned or packaged)

Here are your 5 vegetable & fruit colors. Eat 5 colors each day.

  • White – Onion, garlic, horseradish, kohlrabi. They have antibacterial, anti-viral properties and they strengthen immune system.
  • Blue/Black ­– Eggplant, blueberries, chokeberry, raisins, blackcurrant, bilberry. They strengthen blood vessels, delay aging, improve vision at dusk and they have also anti-inflammatory properties.
  • Red – Apples, tomatoes, cherries, strawberries, watermelons, beets, red cabbage. They have anti-tumor properties. They’re great for your heart as well, because they contain a lot of potassium – what gives counterbalance to salt in your diet.
  • Yellow/Orange – Oranges, bananas, carrots, lemons, peaches, corn. Rich in beta-carotene – which has anti-tumor properties. They regulate water management in the body and prevent your eyesight from getting worse.
  • Green – Spinach, broccoli, lettuce, kiwi. Rich in vitamin C, folic acid, antioxidants – they cleanse your body out of toxins, improve concentration and prevent skin aging. They protect your retina from damages as well.

If you do find yourself in distress after consuming a Gut Bomb than drinking baking soda and water will help settle your stomach. Frankly that would make me puke but “they” say it works. I say, lay down and pray there’s no explosion.


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If your brain wants to do it, your body will follow

Ridin' in Iowa

I had just picked my Dad up from the Oakland airport.  It was the day before Thanksgiving 2008 and we were en route to Redding some 3 hours away.  As my Dad squirmed uncomfortably in the passenger seat of my Mini Cooper he said to me, “I’d like to ride my bike across Iowa. I heard about this organized ride that goes from the west side of the state to the east. It’s only 500 miles. I think it would be a nice thing to do. What better way to see Iowa, and it’s flat all the way. How hard can it be?” I said… great idea Dad, if you start training now you should be ready to do the ride by next year. Dad said… “Next year, I want to do it this July.” I’m not sure if I actually laughed out loud but I know I did in my head.  I thought, he had completely lost his mind. My Dad, in his early 70’s is very fit and very tough, but not a cyclist. He owns a bike but it’s a cute little 40 lb bike built for riding to do errands around town. Certainly not meant to ride across an entire state. All I could say was… Dad, I really think you’ll need more time to train for this event. 500 miles with 7 days of riding and camping along the way is a long week.  It’s not as easy as you think and by the way, Iowa is not entirely flat! Not by any stretch of the imagination!

In spite of almost zero training, in July 2009 we did the ride across Iowa, Ragbrai as it’s called. My Dad, Paula and Me. I went to keep an eye on them, as I was the only one with a clue as to what we were getting into. After the first day, both D & P were praying that the following days would be easier. They were not, there were lots more hills and rain and wind but they took it one day at a time and were thankful to see the end of each day.

In the end they both pulled it out. Failure was simply not an option for those two. They had a goal and they made it happen. It was amazing and I was incredibly proud to see them finish every day leading them closer to the end of the ride and to the reaching their massive goal.

My point – You can do anything you set your mind to. That was made clear to me in Iowa that July. We’ve all heard impressive stories of things people have done. Why not see what you can do?


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She sucked the juice out of a Wet Nap!

It was a few years ago while vacationing on Kauai, Gina (aka, Billy Goat) talked Jacks and I into going for a “quick stroll” before breakfast. “There’s this really amazing waterfall just up the trail. The book says it’s a 20-minute hike, round trip. Then we can go for breakfast…” Trusting Miss Gina, Jacks and I reluctantly agreed to hold off on our AM feeding frenzy and go on the hike.

Long story short –  Four hours later, Jacks Gina and I were remarkably rescued by a short, barefoot man swinging a machete. The man was cutting his way through the lush Napali vegetation to get us back on the proper trail, he said nothing more than, “you are lost come with me.” You can imagine the thoughts going through our heads, they make TV shows about things like this. Ever seen Gone Without a Trace?  I could hear my mother’s voice reminding me not to go off with strangers (let alone ones that pack a machete). Unfortunately our choices were few. We could perish by bring hacked to bits by a Menehune, or die of dehydration.  You see none of us were smart enough to take a drop of water or crumb of food with us on our “quick stroll.” Not only were we frightened, we were severely dehydrated at this point.

Once Machete Man got us back on the trail we still had about half an hour to hike back to the car/breakfast/lunch. We were cranky and seriously dragging.  At one point I looked back to check that Jacks was still following and what I saw was my best friend sucking the juice out of a lemon scented Wet Nap.  I yelled at her to share but she refused, shouting back “this is mine…you should have brought your own…” Can you imagine? I was near death!

That said, we all know that we need to drink lots of water every day so I’m not gonna push. Think of this as a friendly reminder.

The general rule of thumb has been to drink eight, 8 ounce glasses of water daily. Especially if you’re trying to lose weight. If you’re active in sports, live in a hot climate, at high altitude or are dehydrated for one reason or another (excessive coffee or alcohol) you should drink even more.

The latest conventional wisdom holds that you should drink daily half your body weight in ounces of water. That means, if you weight 120 pounds, you should drink 60 ounces of water every day, or seven and a half cups. If you weight 180 pounds, you should drink 90 ounces of water daily, or eleven cups and another few sips for good measure.

Makes sense. The heavier you are the more water you need to hydrate and flush out those nasty waste products.

Drink up, I’m told Wet Naps don’t taste too good, even the lemon ones…


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GP has an admirer!

GP workin' up a sweat

The Guinea Pig 2011 Report ­­– Saturday, February 5th 2011. GP goes to the gym to spin on the stationary bike for a while. GP chooses a bike right next to the fan, as the weather in Oakland is unseasonably warm today.  The fan and the bike happen to be right next to the street level picture window.

As GP gets rolling she notices a man pressing his face against the window, swirling his tong and licking the glass. In extreme horror GP does her best to ignore the man and continue her workout. Eventually the man went away and GP was able to relax and sweat in private.  While the man was clearly “off “ mentally, GP could do nothing more than take his gesture as a complement.  It seems that as of Saturday, GP has managed to “shift 5 pounds of body weight.” All this without having to change her life much at all. Since the beginning of January this year, GP has regularly cut back on her wine consumption, is working out for an hour, 4 days a week and is making better food choices. GP is still indulging in the occasional brownie or chocolate chip cookie and is still having her vino a few times a week. GP confesses that some weeks she does better than others but is consistently making small, comfortable changes to her lifestyle.

In the end, GP was surprised to see that she was able to lose weight and feel better without having to make huge sacrifices. GP is even making an effort to take part in my Ab Challenge. She’s chosen to do 100 core specific reps, two days per week. That’s what she feels comfortable sustaining. Now that GP and the window licking stranger are noticing some changes in her physic, GP in encouraged to take things up a notch.

Stay tuned…

p.s. I’m really proud of you GP! Take no prisoners!


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Code Yellow!

I gotta go!

I know a guy that once worked for one of those package delivery services (you know, like FedEx or UPS). One day he had to go to the bathroom so badly that he simply could not hold it anymore.  With no public restroom in the vicinity he was forced to empty his bladder into one of those (previously unoccupied) padded envelopes, as he hid from view in the back of his delivery van. While this story makes me laugh every time I think of it, I can definitely sympathize.

As a former elite bicycle racer with many hours in the saddle I know all to well what it’s like to be on the edge of dampening my drawers.  In the sport of bike racing there are skills that one learns allowing them to take care of such matters sans stopping your bike. Such skills are not easily mastered and in my experience used only as a last resort. Kind of like the situation above.

The bottom line is (no pun intended), we’ve all been in situations where we had to “go” and there was no designated place, to go. On that note I thought I’d take the opportunity to talk about the dos and don’ts of “going on the fly,” or “Code Yellow” as I prefer to say.

First of all public urination is against the law. While in the countryside it’s more acceptable than in town, it’s still illegal.  National Parks may seem like the country but they are not. It would be bad to get caught going in a National Park. Be aware and be as respectful as you can while committing such an act.

Find a spot out of view of others. We don’t need to see you, it’s not that funny! Please don’t leave paper or other “business” lying around. Take it with you or burry it. Also remember, if you expose yourself in public you can be put on the sex offenders’ list.  That can’t be good!

My friend Penny just reminded me that it’s also advisable to check for poison oak prior to dropping your drawers in the bush.  A case of poison oak on your undercarriage can really put a damper on things.

If you want me to teach you how to pee while riding your bike I can do that. However, it’ll cost you…


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Are your running shoes your friend?

Ouch!

Ouch!

The Guinea Pig 2011 Report – In case you forgot we’re following GP through the suggestions I make here on this blog. Last week I reported that GP was working on Post Holiday Detox. She’s drinking more water and eating much more fiber. GP is now feeling lighter and far less toxic.

Once GP began feeling lighter on her feet she plugged in her iPod and took things up a notch.  Rather than her usual 20-minute moderately paced trot on the treadmill, GP hit the incline button. In her own words here’s GP’s report…

Felt good Saturday after our adventure (Kelley took me into the woods for some circuit style activities using tree trunks and sticks) but did nothing yesterday, so I went to the gym today to do some intervals on the treadmill. I was looking forward to it since my ass was dragging and I had some work to do and my brain wasn’t working.

Warmed up for a bit then turned it on nice and easy–did some of your Trundling* work on an easy incline of about 1.5. I was feeling pretty good, so I did a short higher speed trundle (like 5.3mph). When I got tuckered out, I slowed it down, and cranked up the incline and did some fast walking until I was ready to trundle some more. I repeated this process for about 40 minutes (give or take my spazz outs when I dropped my ear buds or accidentally hit the stop button.)

To my great dismay, during the last 10 mins or so, my left hip started bugging me again. I go back and forth on whether it’s muscular or joint-related. I went and stretched for a while, did some balance work and core exercises, it was ok for a bit, but had some discomfort/pain by the time I got home. Just when I was starting to not totally HATE running. GP is not discouraged though. I will carry on!

Since GP is having some discomfort I have suggested that she revisit her posture as noted in my The anklebone is connected to the knee bone post. I am confident that some adjustments in her posture will make a difference and at the very least are a good place to start. The issue that GP did not mention, is that prior this workout she suffered a bad blister on her left foot which would affect how she runs. My suggestion was to discard her old running shoes and invest in some fresh footwear.

Here are the things GP was armed with before she went shoe shopping.

  • First – you need new shoes if you can see compression wrinkles in your midsole, a good rule of thumb is that your running shoes are good for 350 – 500 miles. Obviously this depends on how you run and how heavy you are. If your shoes give you blisters than they don’t fit properly.
  • Think about – where you want to run in your shoes. On the trail or on the road.
  • Go to a running shoe store where the staff knows about running. You need to deal with someone who knows about running shoes specifically and be ready to try on a few pairs of shoes.
  • Here’s how your running shoes should fit – Wiggle Room = You should have about a thumb’s width of room between the end of your longest toe and the front of the shoe. Hold It = Look for a secure, comfortable fit through the midfoot. Imagine a hand gently holding your foot in place. The Heel Deal = There should be little or no slipping at the heel.

GP now has new running shoes and is feeling better about her running. We’ll check in with her next week to see how her hip feels and if she’s taken on Kelley’s ab challenge, in Holding Kelley accountable.

Stay tuned…

* “Trundle” is a Kelleyism referring to a moderately paced jog.


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The Guinea Pig 2011 Project – Meet GP

Meet GP

When GP and I first met, our idea of exercise was to flex our pectorals (squish our breasts together) and work our core by using the Xerox machine as a prop (we made copies of our D cups for the purpose of bartering for beverages later in the evening). We were two chubbsters looking for love and lots of fun. At the time GP was referred to as Fuoco (means “Fire” in Italian) and I was know as Bad Skël. Need I say more?

The first real exercise commitment GP and I ever made together was to sign ourselves up for a charity 100 mile bike ride around Lake Tahoe. We did this not for the cause, but because we thought that we would drop massive amounts of weight and meet hot young men.  In the end we barely managed to drag ourselves around the lake and not an ounce of weight was lost. Additionally, all the hot guys rode past us like we were standing still.  Maybe that’s because we fueled our training with french fries and beer. The only thing interested in spending any time with us were the flies that taunted us with their constant buzzing and would land on our sweaty limbs traveling with us for miles. After the ride was over GP parked her bike and it didn’t move again until it was stolen from her garage years later.

Now, many years later GP is a wife and mother of two who has agreed to join me on another fitness challenge.  The Guinea Pig 2011 Project.

During the GP 2011 Project we will follow GP through the steps and suggestions I have made and will continue to make here on this blog. GP’s goal is to lose her tummy and tone up her entire body allowing her to don a two-piece swim suit during her family vacation in Hawaii, in May of this year.  Wearing a two-piece suit is something that GP has not had the privilege of in her entire adult life.

Step 1 – Post Holiday Detox. Since the New Year, GP has done as prescribed and upped her water intake. As suggested she is adding lemon slices and has decided to focus on water most evenings rather than the usual class or two of wine. GP is keeping her wine drinking to two – three evenings per week as that is something she can sustain. With that she is already noticing that she’s sleeping better, has more energy and her “mommy belly” is definitely going down (I could see it myself!) and she says she feels less blotted.  My other suggestion for detox was to consume more fiber and while she’s working on this admits that she is not meeting the minimum 30 grams per day. I have given her some additional food suggestions, which you will find by clicking on this link.

So, we are off to a great start. GP has made some small adjustments to her lifestyle and admits that it’s not been all that hard. She claims that you just need to get to the point where you see or feel a difference.  With the added sleep and lessened bounce in her belly GP is feeling encouraged and excited to see what comes next.

Next week, GP goes for a run and finds that her old running shoes are not her friend. Looks like we need to talk about shoe fit and look at her form.

Stay tuned…


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Full Moon Fitness Walk

Glow Sticks are cool.

I want to thank everyone who came out last night for my Full Moon Fitness Walk. We had a great turnout of all sorts of folks. Everyone was in a fantastic, friendly mood and every body did their very best, even during the ab section of the workout. I especially want to thank Shania the pooch for leading the pack and for her patience; I know you wanted to run Shania.  I’d also like to thank Mother Nature for giving us such amazing weather. The night was absolutely perfect. I hope the rest of you got out! (Huge props to my friend Michelle who suggested taking Glow Sticks along on the walk.  Not only did they help us keep track of each other but they were as fun as all get out! Pick some up for the next time you’re playin’ in the dark.  Hella fun!)

It looks like we’re in for a spell of some nice, relatively warm sunny weather, at least through the weekend. I’d say get your booty outside and get some vitamin D.  Get it while it’s here!

I’ll be back tomorrow with some ideas for fun and interesting things to do over the weekend. Until then, ponder the thought of attending my next Fitness Walk.  It’s more than just a walk.  I promise you.

Be there or be square!


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Psychedelic saddlebag

Psychedelic Saddlebag

Yes Marc you are correct. That image I sent you in the form of a birthday card is in fact, a close up of a hematoma I suffered recently (and yes I am testing you to see if you’re reading my blog).  Since I trust that you are religiously reading my posts, you will remember that I recently mentioned needing to replace my bike helmet. With that I should admit that I was reminded once again not to attempt cornering at high speed, on a frozen roadway while attempting to obtain a date.  This maneuver did not work for me in the past (hence a broken collar bone in ’98) and it did not work for me last week. I hope that you appreciated your very colorful birthday card as no one but you can fully understand what a gifted cyclist/crasher I truly am.

Quick reminder: The more you move, the more you fall.  When you fall, and you will fall. Don’t try to stop your fall by putting out your arm or your hand. That’s how people break their arms and their wrists. When you’re going down, think tuck and roll. Tuck your arms and legs in and lay/roll down. No matter which direction you’re flying in, tuck and roll baby!  Seriously.  It works. You gotta trust me.  I may be a shitty speller but I’m really good at falling.

Keep moving!