Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

Tag Archives: attitude


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Eyes are a good thing!

Max Px2

This is Max. Max doesn’t know it yet but he’s destined for greatness. Given his genetic make-up Max will grow become a champion Time Trialist, Soccer Striker or Hip Hop Dancer. It’s a given.

While Max has yet to discover his destiny, he has begun to delve into the world of high style as it relates to eye protection. Let me share with you what Max already understands.

How many times have you been riding your bike or walking and experienced a head-on with a bee or some other airborne property? With all the critters and chunkage flying around in the air it’s bound to happen. Myself, I can proudly boast that I’ve survived dozens of flying critter crashes and it’s all thanks to the fact that I wear some sort of eye protection every time I set out.

If you partake in sports or basically walk around outside you should be wearing eye protection. It’s wise to protect your eyes not only from the sun but also from things that could potentially poke into them. Flying debris, elbows, tree branches, you get the idea. The best plan of action is to use lenses that have a built-in ultraviolet protection and are made of shatterproof polycarbonate. If you already wear glasses, you can have your prescription transferred to the safety eyewear for your athletic activities. Obviously the degree of eye protection you’ll require is directly related to the type of activities you are participating in.  You won’t need ski goggles to wear on a run. Technically you could wear them but why look like a dork?

Maintaining an eye-saving safety-mission doesn’t mean your civvies need suffer. These days there are many fashionable yet functional eye protection manufacturers. Do some shopping and make sure you have a pair of shades for sunny days and pair of clear lenses for rainy or dark days.

For best results choose eyewear that underscores your personal style. Max possesses a confident, brainiack, fresh, athletic “I’ll crush you in a few years” sort of attitude. With that he’s chosen eye protection that is functional as well as dashing, making a statement that supports his beliefs and active lifestyle.

Max’s moto, save your eyes and look marvelous doing it.


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The wild world of “outside”

Today I saw a photo of myself wearing stripes and decided that I should post about how stripes are never a good wardrobe choice for any person weighing over 100 lbs. Than, I had a glass of wine and changed my mind.

I workout outside. The workout classes I teach are also outside. I love to be “outside” and I workout outside because I have never found a gym that was as beautiful as any place I have ever been, outside.

With the outside venue one is privy to all sorts of attention. Often the attention comes from greasy alcohol soaked fellows that one usually chooses to ignore, but on occasion the attention comes from someone one might otherwise desire to entertain.

During tonight’s group workout I began to fantasize about ways to stop one or two of those desirable bodies and invite them to, share a push up or two.

I thought about setting a trap. You know, dig a hole and cover it with leaves. When your victim runs over it they fall into the pit. But that might piss a person off. Not a good way to start a relationship. Then I thought I’d pretend to fall and hurt myself (easy for me) and hope that my victim would take the bait. That might work but I hate appearing weak.

In a world where we’re all so absorbed in endless hours playing with our phones and on our computers we miss the fact that all those people we want so badly to meet, are running around in the same circles we are. The question is, how do we stop moving and start meeting. Believe it or not, people are actually nice if you’re nice to them (mostly)! There’s a world of lovely folks literally running right past us.

I write this post in an effort to remind those of you whom are looking for love, fun or trouble to think about getting back to basics and work the real world. The tangible world right in front of you. I ‘m outside a lot, I see a lot and I have the opportunity to meet a lot of folks when I am open to it. I see things that those of you on the inside miss.

My point — Take the blinders off, be open and send me your schemes for capture…


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She let the boys eat her dust


I’m not really a horse person. I feel badly that horses are forced to haul around heifers like me for the purpose of our recreation. They always seem so sad.

Anyway, in spite of my horse apathy I‘ve found myself attempting to “ride” a horse once or twice in my life. A few years ago I agreed to go on a 4-hour ride over the coastal mountains of Marin, and along the beach. Sounds like fun if you’re a “horse person” but for me it was absolute hell. I literally prayed (and I ain’t a church goer) for the entire 4 hours. After the ride my legs seized up so badly that I couldn’t get up from the dinner table. No shit. My mother had to come over, help me up and lean me against the wall so I wouldn’t fall over. Another time I hopped on the back of some poor weather-beaten horse while on vacation in Mexico. Some how I managed to spook the creature, who then knocked the 10-year-old Mexican attendant up against the fence like he was a rag doll.  I don’t plan to get on another horse. Been there done that, moving on now.

Sunday night on 60 Minutes there was a segment on a horse named Zenyatta. If you don’t follow horseracing you’ve probably never heard of her. Zenyatta is the greatest filly in horse racing history and is the most accomplished female athlete of our time. She is a queen in the sport of kings.

Zenyatta’s racing style was to start the race in the back of the pack and then as she came down the final stretch she’d fire off her rockets and pass all the other horses. They say, “She let the boys eat her dust.” Her style was graceful, kind and driven. It’s been said that she would only go fast enough to beat the boys not humiliate them. Zenyatta’s drink of choice, Guinness. No kidding, she’d have a drink with her trainer most evenings.

Zenyatta is the sort of creature I aspire to be. Watch the video even if you aren’t into horses. It’s kind of heart warming.


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I predict a long hot season…

Hey there... what's U're sign?

It’s May. Did you know that May is named after the Greek goddess Maia? Maia was identified with the Roman goddess of fertility. Makes sense, spring, growth, rebirth, everyone is sniffing around looking for love this time of year. It must be the savage beast in us.

I wasn’t going to bring this up, but it keeps coming up so I feel compelled. My friend Jacks and I joke about it, when spring is in the air the phone starts ringing.  Old lovers seem to creep out from under the woodwork. It happens every year like clockwork. Suitors that you parted ways with years and years prior seem to suddenly feel the need to check in, to see if you’ve come to your senses I guess. It’s nuts, sometimes it’s amusing and some times annoying. Every single spring we ask ourselves “WTF?”

While this spring is no different, I still don’t have a clear answer for this phenomena other than, by definition spring means healing, hope and growth, and as time continues to move on, there will always be another spring and another chance. I guess it’s just the nature of the beast.

Anyway, lots going on in May, many opportunities for fun, fitness and romance. Start taking your vitamins and stay hydrated. I predict a long hot season…

P.s. May is both Skin Cancer Awareness and Bike to Work Month. Bottom line, wear your sunscreen and ride your bike.


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FridayLicious

I’m glad the week is over. This week has been a bit lifeless for some reason; I can’t put my finger on it.

You should be coming on my hike tomorrow. We’ll be dodging hungry coyotes and mating rattlesnakes. Maybe we’ll even see some bobcats. I love the bobcats. They’re the cutest kitties you’ll ever see. Post workout we’ll picnic on the beach, sure you don’t want to join us? The details are on the “Schedule” page.

Enjoy the weekend, I’ll be back on Monday.

P.s. Three times recently I’ve been asked to talk about “body image.” Here’s all I have to say about body image.

Stop worrying about whether you’re fat. You’re not fat. Maybe you’re a little fat, but who gives a shit? There’s nothing more boring and fruitless than a woman lamenting the fact that her stomach is round or ass is big. Feed yourself, body and soul, every day. The people worthy of your love will love you more for this.


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My nose is F’ing huge!

I hope that nose came with the glasses!

Sorry Dad, I know I have your nose and that fact makes you’re remotely proud, but our noses are ginormous! When I was 8 it didn’t seem like a big deal but as I age — “It” keeps growing, and frankly it’s starting to freak me out!

Yep, it’s true, your nose and ears grow until you die, like your hair! The only thing that stops growing are your eyes. At this rate, in a few years my “beautiful eyes” will look like pimples next to my GINORMOUS nose!

Your nose grows a half a millimeter a year, there’s nothing you can do about it other than stop looking in the mirror. Sure, there is surgery and there are exercises to “shrink your nose” but this is where I draw the line. Sorry but I have my limits. Google it yourself if you want to do nose shrinking exercises or cut yourself.

I’m gonna work on…loving my…nose/self…?


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What motivates you?

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the subject of motivation lately. Mostly what I’ve found is that people are motivated by the desire to impress. We do silly things like go on starvation diets so we can fit into dresses and look good for our lovers. The desire to impress doesn’t stop at fitness or physical appearance. We’re motivated to work hard so we can keep our boss’s happy, make money and pay for things that will make others think we’re cool. Essentially we’re motivated by the need to “win” approval.

While the above seems a bit shallow to me, I am no different. I tell myself that I don’t care what others think, but I do. Life would be so much easier if I could ignore the need to be better than I am and just lay around all day drinking wine and eating cheese. Who cares if I get so big that the fire department would have to cut me out of my house when I die? There are so many interesting things I could do with my day if I didn’t have slave to impress “The Jones’s.”

It must have started earlier, but the first substantial effort I remember making to impress started with riding my bike. It started on a dare; my friend Michelle dared me to ride a century bike ride with her. I did it but not because I wanted to but because I didn’t want her to get the better of me. I wanted to “keep up.” Then came bike racing, if you think I ever wanted to race my bike you’re insane. Racing hurts like hell both emotionally and physically. But I started racing and continued to race for years because I wanted to impress and then I couldn’t stop because I’d then let the hordes of people down that I had worked so hard to impress. The circle is viscous and exhausting.

Anyway, the question posed is what motivates you? Right or wrong we all have our motives and hopefully they keep us from becoming big fat lazy, boring people. Over the years I’ve relaxed my desire to impress, in fact I often take the completely opposite route just to test people, or maybe it’s to shock them into being impressed? I’m not sure. The bottom line is, figure out what motivates you to take action and work it.

Motivate yourself and impress someone.


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Shake, shake, shake your booty…

Pretty Petunia

I say this all the time and I can’t stress it enough. Change is good. Routines have their place but not as far as exercise is concerned and not if you care to be an interesting person. Obviously this is my opinion but think about it. Who are the most interesting, healthy people you know? They’re the ones who take chances and try different things every so often. Am I right?

I’m not saying you need to go bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and get yourself arrested but I am suggesting that if you want to stay both physically, and mentally intact you’ll need to take a leap and try something challenging once in a while. Repeating the same moves everyday will not help you reach your goals. Whatever they may be. Remember, mixing up your routine doesn’t just cure the boredom; it also benefits your body’s ability to lose weight. Having variety in your life and in your workout keeps your body working hard to keep up with the different stresses you put on it. When doing this your metabolism increases and you burn more calories.

For instance, my friend Petunia, or Tunie as I like to call her has signed herself up for a Hip Hop dance class. Tunie does not dance. I have never seen Tunie attempt to dance, but knowing her the way I do, I believe it when she say’s she cannot dance. Because of this fact, Tunie signed herself up for a dance class. Don’t think for a second this was easy for her, she pondered it for years until she finally took the first step. She even went as far as to keep this new adventure of hers a secret from her pals because she was so anxious about her lack of HipHopAbility. Now, weeks into this adventure Tunie has fessed up and she’s having a great time. She admits that she still cannot dance but she absolutely loves it and she’s feeling good about herself for taking the plunge. That’s the part I like. Tunie has always been an inspiration to many of us so I’m glad she’s getting something from what she gives.

It’s springtime. Out with the old and in with the new! We’ll talk more about Spring-cleaning later. For now, consider stirring things up a bit.  Be your own Superhero and inspire someone! You can do it! I know you can…

P.s. Need help coming up with ways to stir things up? Contact me; I’m full of ideas. For now, take inspiration from Petunia, do something that frightens you.


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All I want to do today is lay in the dirt

Yesterday I ate a butterfly, then I yacked it up. Ugh!

Some days I’m just not feeling it. Maybe I’m tired or cranky, who knows. The bottom line is, some days I just don’t feel like working out, eating right or doing all the things that I am “supposed to do.” I used to torture myself with guilt when I had these days, telling myself that I was a Big Fat Cow for slacking off, acting like the world would come to an end if I fell off my fitness routine.  Well…I slack off all the time and so far the world is still spinning, I still reach my goals and still look reasonably presentable.

We all have those days and we all need to give ourselves the “okay” to simply give in. Whether it be sitting down to a pint of Ben & Jerry’s because they’re the only ones who can heal your broken heart, or skipping your workout because you just can’t bare to deal with it today. The key is not to make it a habit. Take a day off if you need to and don’t give it a second thought. Just be sure to get back on the wagon tomorrow, you’ll have a whole lot more spunk for having done so. You can’t be expected to roll along the same path forever; detours are necessary for a successful journey. Remember that.


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A public service message from The Sample Lady

I got an email from my Mom today. It’s a bit of a rant as she’d had a hard day at the market. If you read my St Patrick’s Day post you know that my Mom is The Sample Lady at a “health food” store and has a bit of a gritty attitude when it comes to her job and the people she deals with on a daily basis.

Below you will find my mother’s email to me. I’m sharing the meat of the document word for word, I feel the contents are too good for only me to enjoy. Lessons for us all are contained herein.

Store Sampling (a loose definition)

Providing customers an opportunity to try a product before they purchase it and/or introducing a new product to customers.  And, when all else fails — how to get rid of crap you can’t sell before it goes “out of date.” Take note!

What Sampling is not

  • Lunch
  • Afternoon snack for little kids
  • Free food for teenagers
  • Supplemental meals for mooching employees
  • Free treats for a family outing

My Daily “Gross-Outs”

  • A woman reaching into the paper sleeves of freshly baked bread and squeezing each loaf — with her bare hand — to test for freshness.
  • A normal appearing man opening the door, reaching into the empty popcorn machine — and again with his bare hand — scraping up any and all popcorn residue left behind.
  • A regular “Old Fart” sampling olives with his bare hands from the olive bar.
  • A little kid washing his hands in the drink-sampling dispenser.
  • A woman sharing her sandwich — bite for bite — with her dog.
  • Kids digging into the bulk barrels with both hands — also eating from the bulk bins.
  • Little kids fondling rolls from bakery bins.
  • Woman spitting sample back in cup and handing it back to me.

Other things that piss me off

  • Stupid customers asking if sampling spoons are “clean” — no really, we collect up the dirty ones and re-use them — duh.
  • People eating lunch as they shop and not paying
  • Customers leaving dirty sampling cups, toothpicks ad napkins on sampling tray, they belong in the trash!
  • People taking samples without even making eye contact while on their cell phones.
  • People “loading up” on samples — as many as they can carry in both hands

Love Mama

After reading this I’d like to lock myself in the house and never go near a grocery store again. I guess the lesson here is mind your manners and remember that not everyone out there has much sense. Get your food from places that have the least amount of potential fondlers. Farmers markets are good as there are fewer people involved. Or, grow/bake/cook your own food. Do ya feel me?

Stay tuned — next week we’ll be looking at our butt cracks. Is yours crooked? If so what does that mean?

Enjoy the weekend. See you Monday, and happy April Fools Day!