Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

Author Archives: Kelley


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It’s time to roll!

May is a damn good month! In California, it’s official bike to Work Month and my favorite; The Tour of California professional bike race visits our beautiful state during May (There’s also Mothers Day and my moms birthday, I’d be screwed if I forgot that.). What more could a month aspire to be? May is full of fitness, inspiration, green living and motherly love.  Happy, happy May to us all!

Lets talk about Bike to Work stuff; It’s pretty cool how these things happen, one day somebody, and it doesn’t matter who, decided that May would be Bike to Work Month.  It’s a fantastic idea. The hope is to get folks out of their cars and on the road to living healthier lives through bicycling. Pretty keen! Here in San Francisco there’s even a designated Bike to Work Day on May 12th. The paramount and bestest day of Bike to Work month. On Bike to Work Day there are “energizer stations” set up all over the city that hand out free goodies and lend support to bike commuters. It’s really nice and very festive! I’ve even been known to go way out of my way in route to work just to stock up on the goodies and chitchat with folks along the way. Why would you pass that up?

Yea, I know, riding your bike to work all clean and dressed to impress can be a bit daunting but why not use Bike to Work Day as an excuse to give it a try. God forbid you may actually have some fun.

Since I’m buggin’ you to ride your bikes to work it’s only fair that I offer a few words of wisdom.

First — Before you go jumping on your bike have a look at it to be sure it’s in proper working order. If you ride all the time than I trust that you keep your bike in good repair. If you don’t than I’ll get on you another time. For now, dust the poor thing off, pump up the tires to the pressure on the sidewall and if you dare clean and lube you chain. Better yet, call NOW and make an appointment at your favorite bike shop.  Don’t wait until the last-minute bike shops get busy this time of year and changing a flat in your work cloths seriously sucks. Give your bike some love, right now!

Second — What to wear? For this I have enlisted Mo, you know Mo if you’ve been following my posts. Not only has Mo been seen riding her bike up and down the cost of Chile recently but she’s an avid bicycle commuter. Here are Mo’s words of wisdom concerning proper peddling attire.

“No one wants to look like a slob when they get to the Financial District and they don’t have to.  Many work clothes and the bike go great together. For example, a tight skirt with some stretch doesn’t show anything private.

When I am going to and from work or to school I actually look nice, wear makeup, etc. on the bike, in part to make a point, and in part to not look like a dirt bag cyclist when I’m going to my classes or whatever.

My clothing choice recommendation – a medium black skirt with stretch, gives enough to let you swing your leg over, but doesn’t creep up or blow up with wind.  Also, high heels are more comfortable on the bike as most of your weight is on your butt and not on your feet!

You can spend money to buy specially made bike clothes but probably is not necessary.” You can roll with what you got.

All I’m asking is that you think about it. Start with cleaning up your bike, you never know when the urge to ride might hit.  Then, take a second to have a look at your cycle friendly wear, to work or otherwise.  Just in case…

See you on the road…

P.s. For more info on Bike to Work Day check out The San Francisco Bicycle Coalition.

P.s.s. Mo will be “The Captain” of the Energizer Station at The Ferry Building on Bike to Work morning. Stop by and say “Hi” if you’re in the hood!

P.s.s.s I read that 7 out of 10 San Franciscans have bikes. By my calculations everyone under the age of about 65 has a bike. Get on it!


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Shake, shake, shake your booty…

Pretty Petunia

I say this all the time and I can’t stress it enough. Change is good. Routines have their place but not as far as exercise is concerned and not if you care to be an interesting person. Obviously this is my opinion but think about it. Who are the most interesting, healthy people you know? They’re the ones who take chances and try different things every so often. Am I right?

I’m not saying you need to go bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and get yourself arrested but I am suggesting that if you want to stay both physically, and mentally intact you’ll need to take a leap and try something challenging once in a while. Repeating the same moves everyday will not help you reach your goals. Whatever they may be. Remember, mixing up your routine doesn’t just cure the boredom; it also benefits your body’s ability to lose weight. Having variety in your life and in your workout keeps your body working hard to keep up with the different stresses you put on it. When doing this your metabolism increases and you burn more calories.

For instance, my friend Petunia, or Tunie as I like to call her has signed herself up for a Hip Hop dance class. Tunie does not dance. I have never seen Tunie attempt to dance, but knowing her the way I do, I believe it when she say’s she cannot dance. Because of this fact, Tunie signed herself up for a dance class. Don’t think for a second this was easy for her, she pondered it for years until she finally took the first step. She even went as far as to keep this new adventure of hers a secret from her pals because she was so anxious about her lack of HipHopAbility. Now, weeks into this adventure Tunie has fessed up and she’s having a great time. She admits that she still cannot dance but she absolutely loves it and she’s feeling good about herself for taking the plunge. That’s the part I like. Tunie has always been an inspiration to many of us so I’m glad she’s getting something from what she gives.

It’s springtime. Out with the old and in with the new! We’ll talk more about Spring-cleaning later. For now, consider stirring things up a bit.  Be your own Superhero and inspire someone! You can do it! I know you can…

P.s. Need help coming up with ways to stir things up? Contact me; I’m full of ideas. For now, take inspiration from Petunia, do something that frightens you.


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Cotton is rotten

Pretty girl, bad clothing choice.

I like to sweat, that’s a good thing, as my body seems to sweat a lot. Sweating is good as it cleanses the body of all those nasty toxins and cools us down.

Ever notice that when you sweat in a cotton t-shirt it seems to stay wet forever, and then once you stop sweating, you start freezing because you’re standing around in a soaking wet cloths.

Well, thank goodness some brainiac came up moisture-wicking fabric. Fortunately for us, most athletic clothing is being now made of the stuff and it really makes a difference. This special fabric magically sucks the moisture away from your skin, through the fabric, and holds it on the outside of the garment so it can evaporated, hence keeping you much dryer than cotton.

So, the next time you go shopping for workout togs make sure to stick with moisture-wicking fabrics. Moisture-wicking clothing can make a difference in your comfort and in your ability to focus on things like keeping your pace and enjoying the experience rather than feeling like a wet rag.

Don’t get me wrong, cotton is great for keeping you cool, and for looking cool while you sip margaritas on the beach but not while you exercise. Those coveted event t-shirts you get as proof that you’ve survived a challenge, are best worn post sweat to strut around in after you’ve changed out of our smelly workout cloths and are sitting down to your recovery meal.

P.s. Different apparel manufacturers have different names for their moisture-wicking fabric, including Dri-Fit from Nike, ClimaCool from Adidas, just be sure to read the tag.

 


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Is it Friday yet?

Well…it’s certainly been a full week here at Motion Starved HQ.  First there was my post about crooked butt cracks, which sure got its fair share of attention, from folks all over the world too. Then, after writing about asparagus I decided to burn myself up a batch only to find that it was full of sand (you gotta rinse it!). Crunch, crunch, into the trash it went. Then I visited Dr. Barbara so she could snap my ankle back into place, as always she did a great job, thank you DB! After that however, I managed to shake something loose in my head causing a spell of the dizzies. It was like I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Dehydration, maybe, but not likely in this case. My educated guess based on unpleasant past experience says, some crystals shook loose in my inner ear. Silly things can really mess up a girl’s evening (and the next few). Are you wondering what I’m talking about?

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV) — Basically, there are these little crystals that float around in the canals of your inner ear. Occasionally those little buggers get dislodged and strike against sensitive nerve endings within the inner ear, resulting in usually short, but severe, room-spinning vertigo (the “dizzies”) and in some cases nausea.

They say the thing to do is to figure out which side/ear is messed up and then avoid laying or tilting your head in that direction for a few weeks and the problem will go away on it’s own.  Silly as it sounds from my experience that’s all you can do. You’ll know which ear it is because when you tilt or turn your head in that direction you get very dizzy.

Anyway, don’t worry yourself, these things don’t usually happen unless you’ve had some sort of head trauma, hopefully none of you will need to deal with this. In my case I took a little fall on my bike a few years back traumatizing all sorts of body parts and sending me into a spin for months. I was walking around like a drunkard. Hella fun!

TGIF is all I have to say!  Go get you some love and some sun this weekend. Life is short, time to let the crazy out!

See you on Monday!

P.s. If you find yourself with a case of the “dizzies” you best visit the Dr. to decipher the cause, till you get there Dramamine or Bonine will help keep you upright.


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Pee-you!

We all know beans can do it. But what if you get gas sans those flatulence culprits?

It could be gas from your stomach that’s migrated down, or other foods you may not be aware of. Did you know some people even swallow air without knowing it?

If you have really stinky gas or know someone who does, how about some charcoal filters for your underpants? Seriously. They make them. I haven’t tried them, but here’s a funny video about the brand called, Subtle Butt.

Gas, flatulence, whatever you call it, you don’t want it! Here are 5 things to remember if you’re having trouble.

  • Eliminate carbonated drinks. These introduce gas into your stomach, which can end up in your intestines.
  • When stressed, try breathing in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Some people swallow air without realizing it, usually when they’re anxious. This can cause burping or flatulence.
  • Avoid antacids. Though they’re marketed as anti-gas, they actually create gas when they neutralize stomach acid.
  • Consider your food tolerance. For example, dairy products, onions and garlic cause some of us to blow.

I’ll leave it at that…

P.s. The average person passes gas about 12-25 times a day. That seems like a lot if you ask  me…


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All I want to do today is lay in the dirt

Yesterday I ate a butterfly, then I yacked it up. Ugh!

Some days I’m just not feeling it. Maybe I’m tired or cranky, who knows. The bottom line is, some days I just don’t feel like working out, eating right or doing all the things that I am “supposed to do.” I used to torture myself with guilt when I had these days, telling myself that I was a Big Fat Cow for slacking off, acting like the world would come to an end if I fell off my fitness routine.  Well…I slack off all the time and so far the world is still spinning, I still reach my goals and still look reasonably presentable.

We all have those days and we all need to give ourselves the “okay” to simply give in. Whether it be sitting down to a pint of Ben & Jerry’s because they’re the only ones who can heal your broken heart, or skipping your workout because you just can’t bare to deal with it today. The key is not to make it a habit. Take a day off if you need to and don’t give it a second thought. Just be sure to get back on the wagon tomorrow, you’ll have a whole lot more spunk for having done so. You can’t be expected to roll along the same path forever; detours are necessary for a successful journey. Remember that.


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Spears of green

Asparagus Season

I figured I should talk about something less shocking today with all the butt crack business yesterday, so I decided to chat about Asparagus.

Asparagus is not my favorite vegetable but and after looking into it I found that there are some pretty interesting things about asparagus that I bet you don’t know.

The basics — Asparagus is in season from mid April through June and is mostly grown in Michigan, California and Washington State. It is one of the most nutritionally well-balanced vegetables in existence and leads nearly all other produce in a wide array of nutrients. Asparagus contains only 20 calories per 5.3 oz serving and 3 grams of fiber. It’s very low in sodium and an excellent source of potassium, vitamin B6 and folacin (folic acid).

Did you know — Asparagus is a member of the Lily family? So are onions, leeks and garlic.

Strange but true — An asparagus spear can grow as much as one inch (or more) in an hour, and can grow 10″ in a 24-hour period, when weather conditions are just right. Not that’s crazy!

White asparagus — Is achieved by growing the stalks under mounds of earth so the sun does not strike them to produce chlorophyll. White asparagus is considered to be slightly milder in flavor and a bit more tender than green asparagus.

Why does your pee smell funny after you consume asparagus? — From my research, nobody seems to be able to agree on this.  All you need to know is that if your pee smells after eating asparagus (and not everyone can smell it) you are not alone and it’s natural so don’t fret.

How to store it — To maintain freshness, trim the ends and wrap a moist paper towel around the stem ends, or stand upright in two inches of cold water and cover with plastic. Refrigerate and use within 2 or 3 days.

How to pick the best asparagus — 
Look for firm, fresh, spears with closed, compact tips. Larger diameter spears are more tender according to my research but I always found the skinny spears to be better. You can decide for yourself.

Cooking asparagus — Trim stem ends slightly and cook fresh asparagus for about 5 minutes in boiling water for a crisp and tender result. Or, trim ‘em toss ‘em in olive oil and roast in the oven for a few minutes till tender. That’s Kelley Style.

Bacon-Wrapped Asparagus — (Now this sounds hella good!)

1-pound fresh asparagus
8 to 10 strips bacon

Wash and trim asparagus spears. Cut bacon strips in half crosswise. Wrap one-half strip bacon around each asparagus spear, leaving tip and end exposed. Lay on a cookie sheet with sides. Bake in a preheated 400-degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until bacon is cooked. Serve warm or at room temperature.

There you have it, the low-down on asparagus. Enjoy…


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Do you have a kink in your crack?

That is one crooked crack!

Don’t laugh! It’s not funny even though it sounds really funny!

A crooked butt crack, or crooked gluteal cleft, is not uncommon and could be the sign of a potentially serious problem. According to Dr. Barbara, “it’s probably the sign of a torqued pelvis, could also be a sign of scoliosis, or a short leg.” YIKES!  Either way, it’s the sign of a dysfunction and if you read my post The anklebone is connected to the knee bone, you know that everything is connected. If your pelvis is torqued, sooner or later that will effect your back, knees and ankles.  Not a good thing in general and certainly not if you plan to stay active and perhaps live a healthy, “physically comfortable” life.

So… drop your drawers and have a look in the mirror. If you’re crooked, at the very least have your posture assessed by a professional, or like Dr. Barbara suggests get an x-ray to decipher the culprit. You gotta read the signs if you want to keep it together as you age. Don’t let this message slip through the crack (Ha!).

Tomorrow maybe I’ll talk about asparagus, something a little less dramatic. Maybe not, depends on my mood.

Wake up! It’s Monday!


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A public service message from The Sample Lady

I got an email from my Mom today. It’s a bit of a rant as she’d had a hard day at the market. If you read my St Patrick’s Day post you know that my Mom is The Sample Lady at a “health food” store and has a bit of a gritty attitude when it comes to her job and the people she deals with on a daily basis.

Below you will find my mother’s email to me. I’m sharing the meat of the document word for word, I feel the contents are too good for only me to enjoy. Lessons for us all are contained herein.

Store Sampling (a loose definition)

Providing customers an opportunity to try a product before they purchase it and/or introducing a new product to customers.  And, when all else fails — how to get rid of crap you can’t sell before it goes “out of date.” Take note!

What Sampling is not

  • Lunch
  • Afternoon snack for little kids
  • Free food for teenagers
  • Supplemental meals for mooching employees
  • Free treats for a family outing

My Daily “Gross-Outs”

  • A woman reaching into the paper sleeves of freshly baked bread and squeezing each loaf — with her bare hand — to test for freshness.
  • A normal appearing man opening the door, reaching into the empty popcorn machine — and again with his bare hand — scraping up any and all popcorn residue left behind.
  • A regular “Old Fart” sampling olives with his bare hands from the olive bar.
  • A little kid washing his hands in the drink-sampling dispenser.
  • A woman sharing her sandwich — bite for bite — with her dog.
  • Kids digging into the bulk barrels with both hands — also eating from the bulk bins.
  • Little kids fondling rolls from bakery bins.
  • Woman spitting sample back in cup and handing it back to me.

Other things that piss me off

  • Stupid customers asking if sampling spoons are “clean” — no really, we collect up the dirty ones and re-use them — duh.
  • People eating lunch as they shop and not paying
  • Customers leaving dirty sampling cups, toothpicks ad napkins on sampling tray, they belong in the trash!
  • People taking samples without even making eye contact while on their cell phones.
  • People “loading up” on samples — as many as they can carry in both hands

Love Mama

After reading this I’d like to lock myself in the house and never go near a grocery store again. I guess the lesson here is mind your manners and remember that not everyone out there has much sense. Get your food from places that have the least amount of potential fondlers. Farmers markets are good as there are fewer people involved. Or, grow/bake/cook your own food. Do ya feel me?

Stay tuned — next week we’ll be looking at our butt cracks. Is yours crooked? If so what does that mean?

Enjoy the weekend. See you Monday, and happy April Fools Day!


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Is the Universe trying to tell me something?

Not again!

I did it again, sprained my ankle. The same one I messed up a few months ago. It sucks, I’m not a good sick person and I don’t deal well with immobility. I was running on the trail about 2 miles from my car and like the last time, my foot just turned under. Me, my favorite Lululemon togs and a sexy white tank top all became airborne just in time to for a slew of Trail Worker Dudes to witness the calamity. Landing, I slid along the path picking up leaves and sludge turning my white top into a camouflage print. Like I always do when I fall, I screamed. It’s a reflex I have no control over and it does well to magnify the peril. Once on the ground I looked up to see 3 very cute young guys standing about 20 feet away looking at me in shock. They just stood there looking at me with wide eyes. Maybe the scream frightened them? Nobody said a word, they just looked at me. Feeling a bit foolish I let them know that I was okay. ”No worries, I’m fine, this happens to me a lot.” Then one of them said, “Are you sure?” “Oh yea, I’m fine.” At that point they mounted their official vehicle and I was left to stumble back to my car some two miles.  As I dragged my rapidly swelling foot along the trail I began to speak out loud using words that might cause one to assume that I was deranged. Then the tears started to come. Poor me, I fell again! Life sucks, whatever will I do now? I might as well just lay down and die. Poor, poor me!

Everyone has had setbacks at one time or another. The only way to survive is to adapt. So I won’t be able to go for a walk on the beach tonight or run this weekend but I can certainly do plenty of other things.  I’m just going to have to look outside of my little box and find new and wonderful things to do.

It’s important to be adaptable and creative in all areas of life. If one thing doesn’t work then you have an opportunity to try something new.  Maybe my fall today was the Universe’s way of telling me to pay more attention to my bike or to work a little harder on my upper body. My arms are starting to look a little saggy…

I have to look at this as an opportunity and use it to my advantage. Something tells me that if I do this right I’ll be better for having had this little spill. After all, I’m a Scorpio, you can’t take us down, when we rise, we rise up even stronger.