Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

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Help wanted

The hills are alive

People ask me “how do you come up with things to write about every day?” My response is, “It’s easy, I just write about what crosses my path.”

Today while chillin’ at the nail salon waiting for my manicure to dry, I thought “let me check Twitter and see what folks are yacking about on this rainy Sunday.” Scrolling through the tweets I spotted one that read “Unusual 10-Second Exercise For Fat Loss That Doesn’t Even Burn Calories – But Fat Disappears!” Normally these messages only serve to annoy me so I scroll right past them, this time however I had to take the bait.

Here’s where things take a turn for the absurd.  The Twitter feed took me to a website titled FASTWEIGHTLOSETIPS (all one word, all in caps). That in itself made my head spin. Negotiating the page full of ads and paragraphs of miserably spaced copy I came to the gist of the “Unusual 10-second Exercise.”   Here goes – unedited, directly from the FASTWEIGHTLOSETIPS site itself (although I had to fix the word spacing it was just too much to bear!)

Iח a word… HORMONES!

Yουr hormones aren’t doing tһеіr job. Due tο a long list οf things іח ουr food supply аחԁ environment, ουr hormones аrе really messed up аחԁ unbalanced.

Bυt tһеrе′s a way tο stimulate уουr hormones іחtο being balanced again. A simple way.

Tһаt way іѕ spinning around Ɩіkе children. Yου know… іח a circle wіtһ уουr arms out. Yeah, іt mау seem ridiculous, bυt tһіѕ motion stimulates уουr Endocrine System іחtο working іt’s “magic” wіtһ уουr hormones.

Here’s a simple outline tο ɡеt tһе mοѕt out οf spinning.

1. Spin clockwise.

2. Spin around 5-15 times (depending οח уουr level οf dizziness).

3. Spin οחƖу until уου аrе slightly dizzy.

Yου MUST follow those 3 rules. It wіƖƖ take уου a few times tο realize һοw many spins іѕ rіɡһt fοr уου. Don’t ɡеt tοο worried аbουt tһаt. I suggest уου ѕtаrt οff οח tһе low side οf 5 spins јυѕt tο bе safe.

It’s a powerful exercise. Jυѕt bесаυѕе іt’s easy аחԁ unusual (fοr weight loss) doesn’t mean уου саח ɡο crazy wіtһ spinning. Tһіѕ exercise doesn’t need tο burn calories bесаυѕе іt goes down tο a much deep level іח weight loss… hormone-induced weight loss.

One last piece οf advice. Yου wіƖƖ need tο ԁο аt Ɩеаѕt 5 sets οf spins everyday tο ɡеt tһе best weight loss effect frοm tһеm.

Lets be fair, It may work. I can’t say because I’m not about to spin around in circles five times a day. Frankly, it would make me puke and that would mess up my hydration level, which would definitely mess up my hormone levels causing all sorts of other problems.

However, if there were anyone out there reading this that would like to take a stab at weight loss by spinning I would absolutely love to hear about it. Seriously, anybody want to take the Thin by Spin Challenge? Let me know, I see some really good stories coming from this…


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Random bits

Happy Friday!  I know some of you are pretty happy the week is over. I hope the weekend serves you well and you find yourself rested and recovered in time for Monday (or, is that a stupid thing to say?).

Today I’m sharing some tips from my friends.

  • Drink your water – Marathon Louie thought he was “all that” by doing a nice tempo training run and then attempting what he assumed would be an easy spin class. Unfortunately with all the training ML lost track of his hydration level. With that, the double workout proved too much for the lean, fit gent. Post “spin” Louis spun himself right onto the floor and awoke to find himself sprawled out and surrounded by some very nice EMT’s. His advise. Drink up!
  • Wash your stuff – Skinny Scott wanted me to remind everyone to wash their fruits and veggies. Even the ones that you plan to peel. It’s not just about obvious dirt, it’s about all the nasty stuff that gets on there from all the different folks handling it.  Mr. Skinny found himself with a case of “The HoneyMustards” after eating a mango that he peeled but must have picked up some fungi from the cutting board. Best way to wash your stuff is to run lots of water over it. Just to be safe, Skinny suggests washing the pre-washed lettuces that comes in a bag. Need I say more?
  • Sleepy? – Nancy The Guit wondered why she was tired all the time.  She was sleeping well at night, eating right, getting plenty of vitamins and her hormones were in check but she still felt sleepy all day.  What’s up with that, she thought so she asked her Doc and found that she was taking twice the recommend dosage of melatonin.  She’s now cut back and behold, she’s not tired anymore. Watch your dosage, take the recommended 3 mg at most and when you wake in the morning turn on a bright light to trigger your body to stop making it’s own melatonin. More is not better!
  • GP-2011 says “lube your business” – Body Glide is for beginners, too. There’s nothing like getting ass-burn, or chafed cheeks from a vigorous workout. Anywhere you sweat and have a little friction is prime real estate for chafing—arm pits, thighs, butt cheeks. GP recommends body glide, Vaseline, A&D ointment—she’s even used her kids’ diaper creams—use whatever you’ve got, but the body glide is greaseless, easy to roll on, and doesn’t smell like baby powder. Better lube your business, or you might feel the burn—and not just in your muscles.

Learn from their mistakes, I’ll see you on Monday. Next week I’ll come clean and let you have a look at my abs.  We’ll see if all those crunches from my ab challenge did me any good. Stay tuned…


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‘sup for the weekend?

They say it’s gonna snow here in San Francisco right down to sea level, sometime between today and tomorrow. It better. With all the talk folks’ll be pretty sad if there isn’t any snowballing available.  I certainly will be, and I’m no fun when I’m in a mood (I have references).

Here’s the plan.  Snow or no snow we’re all going to get ourselves outside for some fresh, crisp air.  As you know air is a good thing and crisp air, makes your body work extra hard to keep warm therefore burning more calories while it gives your body a nice healthy jolt.

In fact, there are “diets” called The Ice Diet and The Thermal Diet. The Ice Diet suggests that if you eat a bunch of ice and drink lots of really cold water that will shock your body into burning extra calories and at the same time will curb your appetite.  My personal favorite is The Thermal Diet. The Thermal Diet asks you to sit in the tub of cold water with 2, 10 lb bags of ice, 3 times a week for 30 minutes a stretch. The premise with both diets is that the cold temperature will force your body to work harder to warm itself, thus boosting your metabolism.

Personally I’ve done this. I have lowered myself into a tub of ice water, and in case you have any doubt, let me assure you that it is bloody horrific! We used to do this after a bike race to flush the lactic acid from your legs so we could go back the next day and trash ourselves again.  It worked so I put up with it, but I would only fill the tub with enough water to cover my legs and I would cover the rest of my body with multiple wool sweaters, a hat and a scarf. That system would surly hinder the extra calorie burning process, but then again that’s not why I did it. I was doing it because it was the best way I knew to cleanse the toxins from my over worked legs, quickly.  As for weight loss, maybe it does work. It makes sense but let me tell you with complete certainty that it’s far more pleasant to go for a walk, run or bike ride to burn those calories. And, don’t forget the heart healthy and emotional benefits you get from good old fashion physical exercise. Seriously, skip the ice and get moving!

Here’s a thought – The Get Yourself Outside In The Cold & Exercise Diet. Definition – stop whining about the cold and get your ass outside for some exercise. Pure and simple.

See you Monday… (don’t disappoint me!)


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Help! I’m trapped in my togs!

A few years ago (15) I put on a skirt that I hadn’t worn for a while only to find that it had become so tight, that the zipper got stuck, and I had to literally cut the skirt off my chubby rump. It was humiliating and not an easy task. Imagine taking a sharp cutting instrument to the bottom hem of a very tight, knee-length skirt and contorting your hand so that you can cut up the front, between your legs, past your belly to sever the waistband and free yourself. Believe me, it’s not easy, in fact, in my attempt I managed to snip a chunk of fat from my tummy. Crying, I looked in the mirror and vowed never to get stuck in my cloths again.

Well, it’s happened again, not once but three times!  It’s those darn drawstrings they put in our spandex bike shorts and fitness pants (the ones that are continuous so you can’t tie a bow). While I love them and actually seek them out, at times they cause major distress.  Once, while on a bike ride I was desperate to take a code yellow when the loop knot in my bike shorts wouldn’t release.  After a few attempts to untie the knot I finally had to use brut force to break the elastic as to keep from wetting my chamois. It was not easy, those drawstrings are extremely hard to break. Just yesterday, it was my nice, very expensive Lululemon togs. Twice now I’ve had a really hard time keeping the drawstring from locking me inside my Lulu’s. I got out once by squeezing free, but the other time I had to use brut force again. Frankly, I am a bit pissed and have decided to look into the matter for instruction should I find myself in this situation again.

Here’s what I found — After wasting my time looking online, I decided to swallow my pride and call the always happy to help gals at Lululemon.  I was told that when you can’t get the knot untied, you should gently loosen it with a safety-pin until it opens up. Dooh! Why didn’t I think of that?  Guess I’ll be roaming around with a safety-pin attached to my pants for now on. Just in case.

There you have it. Consider yourself informed.


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Potty talk

I gotta go!

I have a slight obsession with getting the things that went in, to come out as soon as possible. No, I have never been into any of those nasty disorders that lots of women get into. With that, over the years I have become very knowledgeable and impressed with the magic of both fiber and water.

Now, I know that I talk a lot about fiber and water so today I am talking about pee.

What exactly is Pee? Essentially, pee (aka urine) is mostly water (about 95%), however, the rest of the contents can vary depending on what you’ve eaten, drank, breathed or been exposed to. The remainder usually consists of urea, uric acid, ammonia, hormones, dead blood cells, proteins, salts, minerals, and toxins. It’s the body’s trash!

Did you know that there’s something called Urine Therapy? It’s the use of urine to heal what ails you. There are people that use urine to heal Strep Throat, Diabetes, Pink Eye and the list goes on.  Yes, they drink pee.  In India some enjoy Gua Jal (Cow Water). Frankly this is where my relatively open mind slams shut. If you want more information on Urine Therapy I suggest you get your Google on.

Here are some good things to know about pee.

  • The average person expels about 1-2 liters of urine per day and “goes” 6 times per day.
  • Only 40% of the population has the gene that allows them to smell asparagus in their pee. Apparently if you take the tips off the asparagus then your pee won’t smell. But do you really care? The tips are the best part!
  • Like it or not many common skin care products contain animal urine. Apparently it helps to moisturize and as we learned above it may have healing properties.
  • The color of your urine can help to determine how hydrated you are. Additionally color in your urine can be a sign of much larger problems. For example, red urine means that you are secreting blood and you should see a doctor immediately. Blue or green urine usually means that you ate something containing dyes. The color your urine should be is very light yellow to almost clear. You should be able to read through it.

I hope you’ve learned something. Maybe some day I’ll talk about #2. Maybe not.


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It’s a Gut Bomb!

Mo's Gut Bomb

My friend Mo took one of her best friends to Chile for Valentines Day.  Her bike.  Mo and Mr. Trek seem to be having a great time according to the updates that I receive, although some of the food is causing a bit of a concern. Mo refers to such food as “gut bombs.”

A gut bomb is food that causes a disturbance in the midsection. At the very least a gut bomb causes a stomachache, but also may include diarrhea or heartburn. Popular gut bombs are primarily creamy foods like a rich dessert or greasy foods like chicken wings, hamburgers, french fries, pizza and buffet style Chinese food.

Be kind to your stomach. Gut bombs may be avoided by not eating too much of the offending food, drinking extra water or staying away entirely from the foods that make your belly gurgle in digestive pain.

Healthy Diet 101 (read this even if you think you know everything)

  • Make small changes, one at a time
  • Eat breakfast
  • Eat every two – three hours
  • Eat protein, fruits and veggies at every meal
  • When eating veggies and fruits eat 5 different colors per day (list below)
  • Always eat whole grains
  • Don’t eat when you are not hungry
  • Remember the water and fiber rules that I bring up every week!
  • To get the very best results, 90% of your food intake should consist of whole foods. But start with eat healthy 85% of the time (6 days a week) and allow yourself to indulge 15% of the time (one day a week).
  • Don’t deprive yourself, eat desert. Just be smart.

Limit this stuff

  • Alcohol
  • Fried foods
  • Non-whole grains
  • Fruit juice (full of sugar and no fiber)
  • Fatty meats
  • Sugar
  • Processed foods (anything that’s canned or packaged)

Here are your 5 vegetable & fruit colors. Eat 5 colors each day.

  • White – Onion, garlic, horseradish, kohlrabi. They have antibacterial, anti-viral properties and they strengthen immune system.
  • Blue/Black ­– Eggplant, blueberries, chokeberry, raisins, blackcurrant, bilberry. They strengthen blood vessels, delay aging, improve vision at dusk and they have also anti-inflammatory properties.
  • Red – Apples, tomatoes, cherries, strawberries, watermelons, beets, red cabbage. They have anti-tumor properties. They’re great for your heart as well, because they contain a lot of potassium – what gives counterbalance to salt in your diet.
  • Yellow/Orange – Oranges, bananas, carrots, lemons, peaches, corn. Rich in beta-carotene – which has anti-tumor properties. They regulate water management in the body and prevent your eyesight from getting worse.
  • Green – Spinach, broccoli, lettuce, kiwi. Rich in vitamin C, folic acid, antioxidants – they cleanse your body out of toxins, improve concentration and prevent skin aging. They protect your retina from damages as well.

If you do find yourself in distress after consuming a Gut Bomb than drinking baking soda and water will help settle your stomach. Frankly that would make me puke but “they” say it works. I say, lay down and pray there’s no explosion.


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Unbitter!

Valentines day is next Monday. Personally I’ve never really cared much about Valentines Day. It’s one of those days that never seem to meet up to your expectations. I am starting to get a little annoyed lately though, I keep hearing this ad on the radio for something called “The Bitter Ball.” It’s for folks without Valentines.  While the name is funny I really hate thinking about spending a perfectly good day being bitter. Bitterness gets you no place you want to be. I also heard someone on the same station ask, “who came up with Valentines Day anyway?” With that I decided to do some looking into the history of Valentines Day.

As usual, there are a bunch of legends and stories so who really knows the truth. The bottom line is, Valentine was a priest who became a saint because he helped people, not because he was some over the top romantic or sex god. Most notably, Valentine married soldiers who where banned from marring because Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers so he outlawed marriage. Saint Valentine is also said to have healed a blind girl while he was in prison waiting to be executed. Just before his death he wrote a note to the former blind girl that said, “From your Valentine.” And, there you have it!

Rather than stewing up a big ol’ batch of bitterness this Valentines Day, I suggest that we do something nice for someone we don’t know.  Like Saint Valentine. You can be anonymous if you like. Think of it as a social experiment. (You can still do this even if you have a “real” Valentine). It doesn’t have to be big, all you have to do is take the guys in the mailroom at work something nice, or pay the bridge toll for the car behind you (I love it when people do that for me!). Buy the person in line behind you at the Starbucks their coffee. They don’t have to know you did it. Just give the cashier an extra few bucks and tell ‘em what to do. Take the dogs at the animal shelter some biscuits! How easy is that!

If you make someone feel good it will make you feel good. Just try.

Start thinking about your plan…I’ll check in on you later.


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Hello! I know you’re out there.

All of you should be joining me in Kelley’s Ab Challenge.  Every one of you could use some work on your abs/core.  I’m not calling anybody out, but I am making it easy for you.  What more do you want? Come on, start small but make an effort!

Why do you need a strong core? Basically your core/torso supports every physical movement you make. It’s the body’s center of power, the stronger you are in that area, the easier your life will be. This means, riding your bike, running, picking up your kid, a watermelon, surviving that killer boot camp class or simply getting out of bed.

Here are my suggestions for things to do this weekend. Work your core…

FYI ladies, a strong core makes for a strong pelvic floor.  Strong muscles in the pelvic floor make for tight pelvic muscles. Get where I’m going with this? Valentines Day is coming!

Do something good for your body this weekend!

See you Monday…


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Are your running shoes your friend?

Ouch!

Ouch!

The Guinea Pig 2011 Report – In case you forgot we’re following GP through the suggestions I make here on this blog. Last week I reported that GP was working on Post Holiday Detox. She’s drinking more water and eating much more fiber. GP is now feeling lighter and far less toxic.

Once GP began feeling lighter on her feet she plugged in her iPod and took things up a notch.  Rather than her usual 20-minute moderately paced trot on the treadmill, GP hit the incline button. In her own words here’s GP’s report…

Felt good Saturday after our adventure (Kelley took me into the woods for some circuit style activities using tree trunks and sticks) but did nothing yesterday, so I went to the gym today to do some intervals on the treadmill. I was looking forward to it since my ass was dragging and I had some work to do and my brain wasn’t working.

Warmed up for a bit then turned it on nice and easy–did some of your Trundling* work on an easy incline of about 1.5. I was feeling pretty good, so I did a short higher speed trundle (like 5.3mph). When I got tuckered out, I slowed it down, and cranked up the incline and did some fast walking until I was ready to trundle some more. I repeated this process for about 40 minutes (give or take my spazz outs when I dropped my ear buds or accidentally hit the stop button.)

To my great dismay, during the last 10 mins or so, my left hip started bugging me again. I go back and forth on whether it’s muscular or joint-related. I went and stretched for a while, did some balance work and core exercises, it was ok for a bit, but had some discomfort/pain by the time I got home. Just when I was starting to not totally HATE running. GP is not discouraged though. I will carry on!

Since GP is having some discomfort I have suggested that she revisit her posture as noted in my The anklebone is connected to the knee bone post. I am confident that some adjustments in her posture will make a difference and at the very least are a good place to start. The issue that GP did not mention, is that prior this workout she suffered a bad blister on her left foot which would affect how she runs. My suggestion was to discard her old running shoes and invest in some fresh footwear.

Here are the things GP was armed with before she went shoe shopping.

  • First – you need new shoes if you can see compression wrinkles in your midsole, a good rule of thumb is that your running shoes are good for 350 – 500 miles. Obviously this depends on how you run and how heavy you are. If your shoes give you blisters than they don’t fit properly.
  • Think about – where you want to run in your shoes. On the trail or on the road.
  • Go to a running shoe store where the staff knows about running. You need to deal with someone who knows about running shoes specifically and be ready to try on a few pairs of shoes.
  • Here’s how your running shoes should fit – Wiggle Room = You should have about a thumb’s width of room between the end of your longest toe and the front of the shoe. Hold It = Look for a secure, comfortable fit through the midfoot. Imagine a hand gently holding your foot in place. The Heel Deal = There should be little or no slipping at the heel.

GP now has new running shoes and is feeling better about her running. We’ll check in with her next week to see how her hip feels and if she’s taken on Kelley’s ab challenge, in Holding Kelley accountable.

Stay tuned…

* “Trundle” is a Kelleyism referring to a moderately paced jog.


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Do you need a good scrub?

"Does your ass hurt? Mine does..."

The other day one of my clients asked if I ever got “saddle sores” from ridding my bike.  I’m not sure why she asked, as she herself does not ride.  Maybe she’d heard tales of suck upset.

With that, I thought I would share some saddle sore wisdom.

“Saddle sore” is a term used to refer to any skin irritation located on, or near the part of your body that rests on the bicycle seat (saddle). Saddle sores can be caused by three things. Pressure, friction or infection.

To cut to the chase, a saddle sore can range from simple chaffing to a huge oozing boil. The boils are my favorite! They can get so big and nasty that they almost become planetoid. Lots o’ fun!

If you get a saddle sore – first, ask yourself, “does my saddle make me sore, or does my saddle give me sores?” If you saddle makes you sore, go to a good bike shop and get fitted properly on your bike. You may need a new saddle.

If your saddle is giving your sores than basically you need a good scrub! Seriously, bacteria causes most saddle sores. Bacterium grows in warm, damp places. That nice warm, sweaty chamois is the happiest place on earth for a microorganism.

Here’s what to do – As soon as you’re off the bike, get out of those shorts. Immediately put on something dry and loose. The idea is to air out your undercarriage. When you get home jump in the shower, don your loofah mitt, soap up and give yourself a good scrub. Do this every time you ride.

Aside from that here are a few other things to keep in mind.

  • Wear high-quality cycling shorts.
  • Never wear underpants under your cycling shorts. This causes chaffing.
  • Wash your cycling shorts after every use.
  • Lube up. There are all sorts of chamois creams out there to help keep away bacteria and minimize abrasion.
  • If you get a saddle sore don’t ignore it. Eddy Merckx ignored them and missed the 1976 Tour. They had to cut them out and drain them! Nasty!

I could go on but I think you get the gist. Happy Monday!