Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

Author Archives: Kelley


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Hey now… It’s Work Out Wednesday!

Not the duckies I saw but nice photo!

If you haven’t already guessed, I love animals. I do. It’s because they’re so simple and real. Not fake or mean, they’re intuitive and loving (even the ones that might eat you, are only doing what’s natural to them). They’re so completely sweet and real.

Yesterday, while trundling* through The Presidio, I spied a mamma duck and about 6, of her fresh, out of the shell, fuzzy-little baby-chicks. The sight was so heart warming that I nearly cried. What made me feel even sappier was a sight of a young fellow who had appointed himself crossing guard for the waddling family.  As the ducks slowly negotiated the hot asphalt, the young man stood far enough away as not to startle the group, yet keep oncoming traffic to a calm, slow stream. As I passed I asked if he would like any assistance but he declined and promised he’d see that the ducks got safely across the busy intersection and on their way to wherever they were going. As I trundled off I wondered where they might be headed, maybe to visit the Yoda fountain I hoped. They’d be safe there.

Here’s my suggestion for today, Work Out Wednesday. Go find some wild life. It’s out there. Dogs don’t count but cats do as they roam free (for the most part). Take a walk, run or a ride, go some place where you might find some critters. All you have to do is find a park. A dog park will do but while you’re there look for some pretty birds or bugs, even gophers count. There are lots of ladybugs and bees flying around these days. They all count. Just pay attention for a change and enjoy what you see. Take a second to stop and watch. This might sound silly but trust me you’ll return home feeling better than you did when you left. And, you may see something really amazing! Like my duckies!

I’d love to hear your Work Out Wednesday Wild Life Report so please feel free to share!

May the force be with you…

P.s. Tomorrow is Bike to Work Day. Mo will be greeting and feeding visitors at the Ferry Building Energizer Station in the morning. Go see her, I’m going around 8.

*Trundling is a Kelleyism for a slow run or jog.


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Five simple things

I love the dogs!

Can you think of five things that make you happy? Five things that don’t cost anything more than a moment of your attention?

I am not asking what you think the secret to happiness is, or how to make someone happy. I just want you to think of five things that make you feel a second of happiness.

Here are five things that make me happy every single time I experience them.

  • It makes me happy when I wake up in the morning and see blue sky out my bedroom window.
  • It makes me happy to see really old people rolling along on bikes.
  • It makes me really happy to see chubby little fluffy dogs running along with their owners.
  • It makes me feel happy and peaceful when I find my rhythm, whether it’s on a run, on the dance floor or climbing a mountain on my trusty bike.
  • It makes me happy when a stranger smiles at me.

Now, make your list. Only think of what makes you happy and that’s it. Think about it all day and look for those things. I’ll bet you have a nice day.


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Eyes are a good thing!

Max Px2

This is Max. Max doesn’t know it yet but he’s destined for greatness. Given his genetic make-up Max will grow become a champion Time Trialist, Soccer Striker or Hip Hop Dancer. It’s a given.

While Max has yet to discover his destiny, he has begun to delve into the world of high style as it relates to eye protection. Let me share with you what Max already understands.

How many times have you been riding your bike or walking and experienced a head-on with a bee or some other airborne property? With all the critters and chunkage flying around in the air it’s bound to happen. Myself, I can proudly boast that I’ve survived dozens of flying critter crashes and it’s all thanks to the fact that I wear some sort of eye protection every time I set out.

If you partake in sports or basically walk around outside you should be wearing eye protection. It’s wise to protect your eyes not only from the sun but also from things that could potentially poke into them. Flying debris, elbows, tree branches, you get the idea. The best plan of action is to use lenses that have a built-in ultraviolet protection and are made of shatterproof polycarbonate. If you already wear glasses, you can have your prescription transferred to the safety eyewear for your athletic activities. Obviously the degree of eye protection you’ll require is directly related to the type of activities you are participating in.  You won’t need ski goggles to wear on a run. Technically you could wear them but why look like a dork?

Maintaining an eye-saving safety-mission doesn’t mean your civvies need suffer. These days there are many fashionable yet functional eye protection manufacturers. Do some shopping and make sure you have a pair of shades for sunny days and pair of clear lenses for rainy or dark days.

For best results choose eyewear that underscores your personal style. Max possesses a confident, brainiack, fresh, athletic “I’ll crush you in a few years” sort of attitude. With that he’s chosen eye protection that is functional as well as dashing, making a statement that supports his beliefs and active lifestyle.

Max’s moto, save your eyes and look marvelous doing it.


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Small bites

Maybe it’s this fine weather or the onset of dementia but I can’t seem to focus on anything substantial to write about so I am gonna give you a few small tidbits to chew on.

Artichokes — They’re spiky green orbs of goodness. Artichokes are high in both fiber and protein. It’s currently artichoke season. Most people cook the whole artichoke, and slip each leaf petal, one by one, through their teeth until they reach the delectable heart.

You can steam, grill, bake or stuff an artichoke but the basic system is to place a trimmed artichoke on a rack above an inch or two of boiling water. Cover and steam 25 to 45 minutes, depending on size, or until a petal near the center pulls out easily.

One large artichoke contains, 60 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 4 grams protein.

Mothers Day is Sunday — Get your card in the mail, flowers ordered or whatever you need to do. Don’t forget.

Do you have your Bike to Work Day outfit ready? — Bike to Work Day is next Thursday.  Get your bike dusted off, tuned up and ready to roll. Remember just cuz you’re on a bike doesn’t mean you can dress like a sloth. Represent in style and get a sexy outfit in order. Use this day an excuse to buy something new and bike friendly to wear. If you’re gonna do it, do it with style! Here are Mo’s suggestions for outfit inspiration. Bespoke Taylor, Swerve, Cycle & Style. Check ‘em out. Also remember that Mo will be controlling the snacks and swag down at the Ferry Building Energizer Station from 7:30 – 9:30 am. Swing by and give her a holla!

It’s nice out — Get out, drink your water and eat your fiber. Look at people when they walk past you and smile for the sake of Pete! Do it, even if for no other reason than to freak ‘em out.

Thanks for reading, have a great weekend…

P.s. Watch where you drop your drawers, it’s poison oak season!


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Where’s that funky stench coming from?

Deodorant just isn’t enough!

I don’t know about you but my exercise cloths smell really funky. Last week I was running and as I went along I kept smelling cheese. Then I realized it was me! I smelled like a big fat wheel of funky cheese!

If you ask folks how to get the stench out of your gear, you’ll be told to use Febreeze, 20 Mule Team Borax, white wine vinegar or baking soda. I even saw something that suggested you put your cloths in the freezer for a few days. That was funny!

Personally I like to stay away from products that contain ingredients that I can’t pronounce like Febreeze. Febreeze claims to be “specifically formulated to find and eliminate sweat odors.” It’s the “find” that worries me for some reason.  I recommend sticking with what Granny would have used. Baking soda or vinegar and possibly 20 Mule Team Borax. I like baking soda although I often have to rinse the batch twice.  They say you can pre soak but I don’t have the patience for that

Here’s the plan

  • First, your most offensive laundry should be washed separate from other clothes so you don’t spread the love.
  • My strongest recommendation is to add about a cup of baking soda to a large wash load. You can buy baking soda in a huge box so you don’t have to deal with all those small boxes.
  • Another idea is to use vinegar, this doubles as a fabric softener. Use a cup of white wine vinegar in the wash water.

That should do it although you’re gonna need to use this format every time you wash your workout cloths. That, or risk smelling like cheese.

Over and out…


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The wild world of “outside”

Today I saw a photo of myself wearing stripes and decided that I should post about how stripes are never a good wardrobe choice for any person weighing over 100 lbs. Than, I had a glass of wine and changed my mind.

I workout outside. The workout classes I teach are also outside. I love to be “outside” and I workout outside because I have never found a gym that was as beautiful as any place I have ever been, outside.

With the outside venue one is privy to all sorts of attention. Often the attention comes from greasy alcohol soaked fellows that one usually chooses to ignore, but on occasion the attention comes from someone one might otherwise desire to entertain.

During tonight’s group workout I began to fantasize about ways to stop one or two of those desirable bodies and invite them to, share a push up or two.

I thought about setting a trap. You know, dig a hole and cover it with leaves. When your victim runs over it they fall into the pit. But that might piss a person off. Not a good way to start a relationship. Then I thought I’d pretend to fall and hurt myself (easy for me) and hope that my victim would take the bait. That might work but I hate appearing weak.

In a world where we’re all so absorbed in endless hours playing with our phones and on our computers we miss the fact that all those people we want so badly to meet, are running around in the same circles we are. The question is, how do we stop moving and start meeting. Believe it or not, people are actually nice if you’re nice to them (mostly)! There’s a world of lovely folks literally running right past us.

I write this post in an effort to remind those of you whom are looking for love, fun or trouble to think about getting back to basics and work the real world. The tangible world right in front of you. I ‘m outside a lot, I see a lot and I have the opportunity to meet a lot of folks when I am open to it. I see things that those of you on the inside miss.

My point — Take the blinders off, be open and send me your schemes for capture…


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She let the boys eat her dust


I’m not really a horse person. I feel badly that horses are forced to haul around heifers like me for the purpose of our recreation. They always seem so sad.

Anyway, in spite of my horse apathy I‘ve found myself attempting to “ride” a horse once or twice in my life. A few years ago I agreed to go on a 4-hour ride over the coastal mountains of Marin, and along the beach. Sounds like fun if you’re a “horse person” but for me it was absolute hell. I literally prayed (and I ain’t a church goer) for the entire 4 hours. After the ride my legs seized up so badly that I couldn’t get up from the dinner table. No shit. My mother had to come over, help me up and lean me against the wall so I wouldn’t fall over. Another time I hopped on the back of some poor weather-beaten horse while on vacation in Mexico. Some how I managed to spook the creature, who then knocked the 10-year-old Mexican attendant up against the fence like he was a rag doll.  I don’t plan to get on another horse. Been there done that, moving on now.

Sunday night on 60 Minutes there was a segment on a horse named Zenyatta. If you don’t follow horseracing you’ve probably never heard of her. Zenyatta is the greatest filly in horse racing history and is the most accomplished female athlete of our time. She is a queen in the sport of kings.

Zenyatta’s racing style was to start the race in the back of the pack and then as she came down the final stretch she’d fire off her rockets and pass all the other horses. They say, “She let the boys eat her dust.” Her style was graceful, kind and driven. It’s been said that she would only go fast enough to beat the boys not humiliate them. Zenyatta’s drink of choice, Guinness. No kidding, she’d have a drink with her trainer most evenings.

Zenyatta is the sort of creature I aspire to be. Watch the video even if you aren’t into horses. It’s kind of heart warming.


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I predict a long hot season…

Hey there... what's U're sign?

It’s May. Did you know that May is named after the Greek goddess Maia? Maia was identified with the Roman goddess of fertility. Makes sense, spring, growth, rebirth, everyone is sniffing around looking for love this time of year. It must be the savage beast in us.

I wasn’t going to bring this up, but it keeps coming up so I feel compelled. My friend Jacks and I joke about it, when spring is in the air the phone starts ringing.  Old lovers seem to creep out from under the woodwork. It happens every year like clockwork. Suitors that you parted ways with years and years prior seem to suddenly feel the need to check in, to see if you’ve come to your senses I guess. It’s nuts, sometimes it’s amusing and some times annoying. Every single spring we ask ourselves “WTF?”

While this spring is no different, I still don’t have a clear answer for this phenomena other than, by definition spring means healing, hope and growth, and as time continues to move on, there will always be another spring and another chance. I guess it’s just the nature of the beast.

Anyway, lots going on in May, many opportunities for fun, fitness and romance. Start taking your vitamins and stay hydrated. I predict a long hot season…

P.s. May is both Skin Cancer Awareness and Bike to Work Month. Bottom line, wear your sunscreen and ride your bike.


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FridayLicious

I’m glad the week is over. This week has been a bit lifeless for some reason; I can’t put my finger on it.

You should be coming on my hike tomorrow. We’ll be dodging hungry coyotes and mating rattlesnakes. Maybe we’ll even see some bobcats. I love the bobcats. They’re the cutest kitties you’ll ever see. Post workout we’ll picnic on the beach, sure you don’t want to join us? The details are on the “Schedule” page.

Enjoy the weekend, I’ll be back on Monday.

P.s. Three times recently I’ve been asked to talk about “body image.” Here’s all I have to say about body image.

Stop worrying about whether you’re fat. You’re not fat. Maybe you’re a little fat, but who gives a shit? There’s nothing more boring and fruitless than a woman lamenting the fact that her stomach is round or ass is big. Feed yourself, body and soul, every day. The people worthy of your love will love you more for this.


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My nose is F’ing huge!

I hope that nose came with the glasses!

Sorry Dad, I know I have your nose and that fact makes you’re remotely proud, but our noses are ginormous! When I was 8 it didn’t seem like a big deal but as I age — “It” keeps growing, and frankly it’s starting to freak me out!

Yep, it’s true, your nose and ears grow until you die, like your hair! The only thing that stops growing are your eyes. At this rate, in a few years my “beautiful eyes” will look like pimples next to my GINORMOUS nose!

Your nose grows a half a millimeter a year, there’s nothing you can do about it other than stop looking in the mirror. Sure, there is surgery and there are exercises to “shrink your nose” but this is where I draw the line. Sorry but I have my limits. Google it yourself if you want to do nose shrinking exercises or cut yourself.

I’m gonna work on…loving my…nose/self…?