Physical Funness for the Motion Starved

Fit more fun into your fitness while exploring the outdoors.

Category Archives: Stories


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Lanterne Rouge

Kelley's Red Lantern

It’s not whether you win or lose it’s how you play the game, right? Well, we don’t always feel that way but it’s true. When I was racing bikes I heard one of my teammates husbands say to her as we were leaving for a race, “don’t come home if you don’t win.” He’s now her ex husband, I believe.

In bike racing an award is given to the last rider to finish the race, it’s called The Lanterne Rouge. The idea behind the Lanterne Rouge is to celebrate finishing the race rather than giving up. Riders often compete to come in last rather than just near the back as the rider that comes in last is remembered, while those who finish a few places ahead are forgotten.

The term Lanterne Rouge translates to Red Lantern and is derived from the red lantern that was placed on the caboose of a railway train.  The engineer would look at the light from the engine to make sure that no cars had come uncoupled.

In life, as in athletics hanging on is not easy when things get ugly. It’s much easier to give up, but where’s the challenge and sense of pride in that? Finishing what you’ve started and giving it your best effort is a major achievement and worthy of praise.

In my life I have taken first place, I have taken The Red Lantern and I have given up. I’m very proud of my wins and my last place finish, but I hugely regret the times I gave up, and the things I have not been brave enough to attempt.

Lets remember to celebrate the effort, as well as the outcome. As one of the Race With The Bus participants said to me as he was walking away, “we’re all winners.”

Happy Humpday!


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I got Mob’d

Scoutmob.com

A week ago Sunday, my scope said that last week was “going to be all about karma.” I got a little nervous, as I’m not always a good girl. Then I thought about it and thought… yea, I’ve earned some good karma! I’ve done some nice things for people in the not so distant past, so… YES… this should be a good karma kinda week (I figured, think positive).

Anyway, as the week rolled on I kinda forgot about my scope, and then magically good things really did start to happen. It was kind of freaky!

I won’t bore you with the details, but basically the one thing that I wanted to happen was for my Run With The Bus race to turn out well, for it to get Motion Starved some attention and to meet some nice people.  All of which came true.

If you read Fridays post you know how the Bus race turned out, if you didn’t, read it now. What you don’t know, is while literally begging for help to promote the race, I got the attention of the folks at Scoutmob.com, how it happened I have no idea.

If you don’t know Scoutmob, they were born from a love for the locally owned businesses that make our city unique, and the hard-working people who make it all happen. They wanted a chance to work with and promote folks like me, but also a way to tell our stories. Scoutmob is a way to get curious urban explorers like you, out and about and exploring the city… all with the incentive of free mobile deals.

The way the deals work is very simple, if you see something you like, you claim it and then you use it. Like old-school cutting a coupon out of the paper and then redeeming it. You don’t pay Scoutmob anything. Plus, their site is super cool and they work hard to bring you new, fun and interesting things, not just any ol’ thing. That’s where I come in…

It was crazy karmic, I got an email from a nice Scoutmob lady telling me that she liked what I’m doing and since Scoutmob likes to promote people and places that they find curious, they wanted to help get the word out about my style of workouts. With that, they’ve given me a little space in their daily email that goes out to many more thousands of San Franciscans that I could ever hope to reach at this point. The little ad links directly here, to Motion Starved, Scoutmob gets nothing out of this deal other than the satisfaction of getting me some attention and helping their fans find something new and interesting.

The moral of the story, maybe there is something to karma or maybe it’s that hard work gets rewarded, or maybe it’s, do weird things people will notice you. Who knows…Bottom line is, come workout with me. Tell me you’ve been Mob’d I’ll give you 3 classes for 30 bucks.

Kisses…

P.s. Check out Scoutmob.com they’re all over the country. Not just SF.


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Mud and mirrors

You get beer after your wreck your shoes in Seattle!

Happy Monday!

Wha’d ya’ll get up to this weekend? I’d love to hear your reports. But alas, few of you actually participate in my attempt to be “social.” Does my breath stink? Wait, you can’t smell my breath via the web. Not yet anyway, I hear they’re working on an app for that.

Well, here’s what I did. I went to my first Hip Hop dance class. Yep, I sucked. A white girl with rhythm I am not. It was fun, but a little stressful. Nothing like being in a room of about…50 people, all of whom you assume know how to dance. At the same time, being forced to stare at yourself in a massive wall of mirrors while you’re jumping around. I saw things shake in that mirror that had no business being attached to my body, they seemed to have a life of their own, and it severely offended me!

Once I realized that looking in the mirror wasn’t going to help me, I started to look around for people to follow. That however, was not an easy task, some of the folks seemed to be interpreting the dance differently from that which was being taught. You’d think I’d be happy to see other “dancers” dorking out (I have no idea why I just typed that phrase, but I like it) but it confused me even more.

In the end, I found a couple of women that I could follow and that made all the difference. Although, once they moved out of my line of sight I was dead in the water (more like, chub in the mirror).

The bottom line is, I had a great time because I was being challenged, pushed out of my comfort zone. The teacher, Micaya was beyond amazing. In all her cool, thinness, she completely understood every single person in the room and their struggles that day. The kind of teacher/person that makes everyone she comes across feel better for having met her.

I see another Hip Hop class in my future, not because I particularly care about being some great hip-hop dancer, but for the insane “fun” of it.

Lastly, while I was working hard not to knock anybody over in hip-hop class, my friend Dawn was working her inner Goddess at the Warrior Dash, in Seattle this weekend. What’s a “Warrior Dash?” According to the website it’s it “fire-leaping, extreme run from hell”. Yikes! I can’t wait for her report! I’ve seen photos and I gotta say, I’m crazy jealous! Stay tuned, Dawn was wearing a video camera on her chest, she & her hubby Mark are working on a video, which we’ll share here on Motion Starved very soon. No shit, this is gonna be something to see! Stay tuned…

See ya Wednesday, in the mean time, do something “nuts”…!


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OMG! Why did I sign up for that?

Around and around we go...

I have a client who’s running her very first 5k and it’s in just a few weeks. Currently, she’s pretty calm, but experience tells me that the night before her running debut she’s gonna wonder what the hell she was thinking when she signed up for such a thing. We all do that, we do it no matter how many times we race, participate in a competitive event or sign up for something that’s new to us. It’s just the way it works.

My advice to my client and to the rest of the world is to remain calm. Freaking out uses valuable energy that you’ll need later.

If you were smart, you’ve trained and planned well for your challenge. Perhaps you even scoped out the course, or spied through the window of a dance class so you’d know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. You read the event information packet ahead of time and you have all your ducks in a row. It’s anticipating surprises that freak us out, I think. Maybe you remember when I did that stair climb in the B of A Building for charity a few months ago, I got all freaked out because at the last-minute I read a note in the race rules that said “do not crawl on the stairs.” Just reading that set off all sorts of horrific thoughts in my head. I imagined that people become so exhausted that they had to crawl to the finish. In the end, I found that I was being very silly as the race itself was a piece of cake (because I trained for it!).

With that, my best pre event suggestions are as follows:

  • Get yourself completely ready a few days before your event. Make sure your cloths are clean, have good food in the house, read all the event info, collect your race number/chip everything you need so the last few days you can chill.
  • It’s important that two nights before your event you get a good night sleep. You may be anxious the night before making for a less than perfect nights sleep so focus on two nights before. If you have a good sleep two nights before, the night before you’ll feel less anxious.
  • Eating the night before. Frankly I never recommend stuffing yourself the night before. No matter how far, or what it is you plan to do. Remember, the more you eat the harder your body has to work to digest it. When your body works hard it gets tuckered out and can affect your sleep.  Remember, you don’t want to carry around a pile of pasta in your gut while you attempt to race. Get what I’m saying here?
  • What to eat the morning of your event can be tricky. The rule of thumb is, eat 2-3 hours before your event to allow your body time to digest the food (and so you don’t yack it up). That can be a problem when your event is in the early morning. From years of experience I’ve found that I can stomach oatmeal w/raisins & walnuts a couple of hours before seriously exerting myself. But, that’s come with years of trial and error and now I stick with just that. The most important thing I can tell you is that you need to practice eating just as you would anything else. As you train, try different foods and at different times. Not only will you figure out what to eat, and when to eat, you’ll find out what foods give you most energy. It’s trial and error.
  • Bottom line, never try anything new the day of the event. No new food, drink, lotion, shoes, clothing, nothing! You have no idea how you’ll react to it so don’t take the risk. As far as shoes are concerned, it takes 2 weeks to break in new shoes so if you need new shoes get ‘em early (bike shoes too!).
  • Lastly, have faith in yourself. Trust that you’ve trained and are ready for this exciting new challenge. As you lay in bed the night before say to yourself: Okay, self…this is how this is going to work… you’re gonna have a good night sleep and wake up feeling great. You’re gonna get to the event and you’re gonna go, go, go feeling great the whole time. Everything will be smooth and easy, and you’ll feel unbelievably great when you’re done.  It works every time. Trust me.

Now, go make me proud…


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Start with 10

I burned off 25 cookies today!

I first started exercising many years ago to lose weight. At the time I didn’t need to lose weight, but like most young women I thought I did. Because of my lack of sense, I ran 6-10 miles a day and lived on diet soda, apples and nuts. This system made sense to me at the time although I could never figure out why I kept getting fatter and fatter and eventually became so exhausted that I completely passed out one day.  After that little fright, it still took about 20 years for me to realize that one must eat to keep their metabolism going and legs moving. Geez…what a dunce I was!

Now, some 30 years later I eat plenty. Too much sometimes, but fortunately for me my metabolism now runs pretty high. I’m especially lucky being that I’m an “older gal,” at an age when typically ones metabolism slows way down. Mine however runs relatively high because I’ve learned not only to exercise, but also to feed my body keeping my furnace/metabolism running hot.

I exercise basically every day. Some days I workout hard, and some days I just walk and/or do an easy yoga/stretch class. The bottom line is, I move around quite a bit and have done so for years. Because of that, I’m still reaping benefits from exercise sessions I did years ago in the form of a much appreciated, fired up metabolism.

The oddest component to keeping a healthy metabolism is eating. If you don’t eat enough your body thinks you’re trying to kill it. It imagines that you’re starving it to death, and when you exercise on top of not eating, that just accelerates the body’s reaction. Think about it. Your body doesn’t want to die. It goes to great lengths to rebuild itself and heal when you hurt it, right? So it makes sense that it would freak out when you starve it. It responds by shutting down and holding onto the little food that you do give it and stores it as fat for later use. Basically it slows down your metabolism to keep from burning too much fuel. When you feed your body it burns hotter as long as you move it, giving it a reason to burn.

On that note, I once again ask you to make an effort to exercise. The more you exercise the more you get to eat. Think of that. My suggestion for today is to make an Exercise Box. Take a shoebox and place at least 5 short, 10-minute workouts in the box. Every morning after you’ve had your coffee, but your hand in the box, pull out a workout and perform the exercise noted.

10 minutes, that’s all it takes to feel better, jump-start your metabolism and might even encourage you to work out a little longer. If 10 minutes is all you can muster for the day, than fine, but it’s my hope that as time goes on, you’ll add more to your daily workout routine. Whether it’s working out for a longer duration or doing 2 or 3 of these short workouts a day.

Here are some ideas for your Exercise Box

  • Do 30 jumping jacks/15-30 bench dips/ 10 push ups (any style you choose) repeat the sequence for 10 plus minutes.
  • Walk ¼ way around the block/skip ¼ way around the block/jog ¼ way around/side shuffle both directions (face left/right) ¼ way. Repeat for 10 plus minutes.
  • High knees (like running in place, bringing your knees toward your chest/pump your arms) count to 30. 20 squats/20 lunges/10 burpees. Repeat for 10 plus minutes.
  • Run around the block/stop and do 20 squats/run around again/stop and do 20 mountain climbers. Repeat for 10 plus minutes
  • Do 20 jumping jacks/25 crunches/25 bicycle crunches/25 leg raises (lay on back bend legs at waist and bring them straight up/don’t rock/this is a small movement) finish with plank position for 60 seconds. Rest for a few seconds and repeat plank pose if you have time left. Do plank for up to 3 efforts.

Make a commitment to yourself, complete at least 10 minutes of exercise regardless of how tired or busy you may feel, five days a week. If you have kids, get them to join you. It’s only 10 minutes, how bad can it be?

If you need more suggestions, ask…


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Independence = freedom

Chilly water, only the brave dare...

During my workout class at the beach tonight, I spied a notably chubby 30 something fellow stripping down to nakedness, aside from his remarkably tight swim trunks. I peaked at him as he dropped his trousers, hoisted off his shirt and stuffed them into an equally over stuffed backpack. As he wrenched on his fluorescent orange swim cap I found myself commenting to my clients about how he needed to join our abdominal workout. You see, this fellow wasn’t the sort that most of us would find suited to bare himself in public and certainly not wearing such an ensemble. He was quite a chubbster, clad in gear that only emphasized that fact.

As the snarky comments slid from my lips I immediately felt horrid. Who the hell was I to say such things? This fellow was proud and clearly not affected by the “rules’ of the world. He was living his life and doing as he pleased. For this I should be giving him props and envy his moxie.

To the chubby fellow I say, “You go boy.” I support your independent ways and I apologize for my shallow thoughts and snarky words. I confess to you that I’m a woman who swims only to keep from drowning, and frankly, I could use a few ab exercises myself. To you I say, live and let live, may the force be with you, and you’ve inspired me to take a plunge into the ice-cold bay in my less than appropriate swimming costume (that’ll be a story for another day).

To the rest of the world, may you all enjoy a wonderful, safe, Independence Day weekend. And if you happen run into someone who’s not exactly the way you think they should be: Stop for a second and look past the exterior, you might witness something inspiring.

I’ll be back on Monday, until then, travel, celebrate and exercise safely…


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Sometimes you gotta just suck it up and dig deep.

I have a really nice house with a really nice yard, a really needy cat and lots of good friends, all of which are constantly calling for my attention. If it’s not one thing it’s another, the cat vomits, the lawn needs mowing, friends need calling. There’s always something to do. My point is, it’s hard to get out and do things that require more than just a little effort. Specifically things that take a significant amount of guts, or offer a challenge.

For example; last weekend Penny and I participated in a trail run/race that took us up 3,000 feet in the air within the first 3.5 miles. After that we still had to climb another 2,000 feet. Translation; up, up and up till you think you might puke, then down, around and up some more. Pen took second place in spite of the fact that she has a full-time job, two babies, a husband, a house and a very needy dog. Pen did so well because she dug deep and sucked it up. She knows no other way.

This weekend SarahSwitchblade participated in something we call The Double Dipsea. It’s another trail run/race. Translation; it dips from a mountain top to the sea and back up again, hence The Double Dip-sea. Switchie took first place in this torture fest. To my knowledge she didn’t puke, although my guess is she thought she might, more than once. Switchie too has a house, a bike racer husband whom she supports, pets, a job and all that.

When my Dad rode his bike across Iowa a couple of summers ago he didn’t wear socks with his Topsiders (not exactly “proper” cycling shoes). The ride was 7 days, and 500 miles filled with wind, rain, heat, pork chops and corn. Dad’s ankles bled the whole time. At one point I said “Dad! Your ankles are bleeding!!!!” Dad said, “What? No they aren’t!” Given that Dads ankles looked like hamburger, I then realized that he was sucking it up, doing what he need to in order to complete his challenge, so I shut up. Dad, has a very big job, a very, very big house, a wife, a not so needy dog, a cat and 3 grown, problematic children.

I know stepping outside of your comfort zone is hard. It’s hard every time you do it. It’s hard for me, for Pen, for Sarah for my Dad, for everyone. We’re all everyday people.

Remember, it’s not about “winning” something, it’s about making the effort, having the experience, or in my case, the story. Because in the end, it’s all about the stories!

(Am I right Pen? Switchie? Dad?)


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Happy Monday

I’ve decided to take a “Personal Day” today. I trust you understand. It’s been a long weekend.

In my absence I suggest you consider partaking in some sort of lusty act. I’m talking about stretching your horizons a bit. Look into a Poll Dancing class, Massage for Couples… you get the picture. Run with it!

I’ll be back tomorrow…


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Is it Friday yet?

Geez, I’m not feeling it this week. Not feeling the love! Call me Cranky Kelley. Why? Who the hell knows? I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Everything in my life is moving along smoothly. I have everything and more that should make a person “happy. ” I think the problem is that I need an adventure, some “drama” or some “trouble,” something problematic to talk about. Doing the same wonderful thing day after day does not suit me. I need trouble.

With that I feel that I’ve become boring. I can’t think of anything to talk about that is in the least bit interesting. I have notes on Iron Deficiency and Dry Skin, things that might interest you, but alas…they bore me so I can’t finish them.

When I was young my Dad told me, “ If you don’t bring anything to the party, then you don’t belong there.” Meaning, if you don’t add positively to a situation, then you’re a drip! Another saying I subscribe to is “If you don’t have anything interesting to say, shut the hell up!” That’s how I’ve been feeling the last few days. With that, I shall shut the hell up and offer you a few words that I have stolen from various magazines.

  • Slice a bagel lengthwise into thirds. Keep the ends and toss out the center. You will have the illusion that you’re eating the full bagel, and you’ll save 120 calories.
  • Eat Canadian bacon rather than sausage or regular bacon with your breakfast and you’ll save 100-200 calories.
  • Eat a tablespoon of peanuts and a tablespoon of chocolate chips instead of a pack of Peanut M&M’s and you’ll save 127 calories.

There you go…


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Competition does a body good

A few weeks ago I got a little excited and challenged a personal trainer in Seattle to a little competition. At the time I had no idea who this woman was other that I liked what she had to say on Twitter. Yep, that’s right, I met her on twitter. Me, Kelley, the woman who only just recently opened a Facebook account and who refuses to open another one for Motion Starved. All this social media is a bit creepy, time-consuming and confusing if you ask me.

Anyway, as I was saying – I’ve committed to a weekly Fitness Walk Challenge with The Exercise Space in Seattle. From what I can tell The Exercise Space is a fitness center that offers classes and personal training. Just like me only these people have an actual address and have been in business for 4 years. Impressive, and it seems they have quite a few clients to boot. Something I’m still working to get even close to.

To be clear, The Exercise Space and I have not yet decided on the exact terms of the weekly challenge and that’s due to the fact that I’ve been lagging behind in the Fitness Walk participant department. However, once I get rolling, Dawn at The Exercise Space and I will surly come up with some fun ways to keep us all engaged and teeming.

For this week, we’ve challenged each other to a Scavenger Hunt. Each group will go for their walk on the same day, at the same time, and hunt for things on a list of 30 items. The team that finds the most things in an hour wins. We’ve agreed that the final winning team will receive a bottle of wine made locally (you can see why I like her!).

In spite of the fact that I’m currently behind in this challenge it’s been fun. Fun meeting people of like mind (even if I never actually get to drink wine with then in person). Fun coming up with new ideas and sharing those ideas with others. And like it or not, being challenged, pushed to rise to the occasion. That’s the beauty of competition, it forces you to push yourself harder or strive for more than you would otherwise.

Remember, there are lots of challenges in life, you win some and you lose some, but the act of participation is reward in itself.

Team Motion Starved SF vs Team The Exercise Space Seattle
Those of you in Seattle, check out The Exercise Space
In San Francisco, Giddy up! Team MS needs you!
For more information on joining Team Motion Starved in the Fitness Walk Challenge
check out the “Schedule” page.
Disappoint me & you’ll pay!